OK…haven’t really given much of an update in a while…been busy…here it goes:
Weekend
Went back up north. I needed the getaway. Road trips, even a short one, with someone else in the car, are good. Went to a haunted house that was a little disappointing…but still fun. I finished all the episodes of Firefly (really enjoyed the show…postmortem, but hopefully, with the movie, we shall see it spurt back to life). Also ingested some Simpson’s Halloween specials (a must).
I came under the distinct, paranoid notion that my Grandmother’s worry, over my spiritual well-being (according to her Catholic notions), has spread to other members of my extended family and that now, underneath the normal smiles and laughs and jokes and good times, they are in turn worried about my running “astray” (what with the roleplaying games I’ve played, lack of recent church attendance, black clothing, and the “dark” things I tend to write about). This saddens me a bit, that they might miss the forest for the trees, the good intentions for the skull necklaces – that they think they might need to save me…from being me. It’s not a big deal now…but I have a feeling it’ll come to more of a head, somewhere not so far down the line (I dread when some of them ask to look at my epic, when its done, and miss the important things…not seeing past the evil “occult” [whatever that word really means] stuff).
I love them all and hope these things won’t get in the way…but their side of thinking carries the acrid scent of ultimatums and absolutes. On reflection, I realize that none of this is going to stop me from doing what I do…so there’s little need to meditate on it further. Full speed ahead.
Epic Poem Under Construction
I LOVE doing readings in class. It always boosts my ego/confidence, to get through the nights of banging my head on my key-board and wondering why I’m not doing anything more important…like chair building. The class has gotten to know me. They like my stuff. They’ve built up a sort of anticipation that hums on my readings days – says what is he going to unleash on us now? – and tickles me. I read. They pay attention. I get to talking different voices. They listen. I get to elicit few laughs and a few shudders and I feel like a rockstar. They’ve been my testing ground for this thesis. I’ve read the prose stuff to them…but, more importantly, I’ve read the poetic. I’ve been experimenting with the concepts and forms and conceits of the poetic part and had gotten to the point where I wasn’t sure if anyone else would understand or react to this strange, mutant thing…but they seem to be getting it and liking it and giving me feedback that helps me figure out what still needs to be done to it. So I’ve gathered some of their more encouraging comments below. This isn’t just an ego stroke (or maybe it is and I’m just trying to hide it under layers and layers of false humility) so much as a reminder for me later. My moods, by nature, are not very bi-polar…but they are when it comes to writing. The next time I feel like I’m not getting anywhere…I can look back up here. So here goes:
-Great use of repetitions and consistent archetypes and alliteration. You’re a very good writer. Sort of like Neil Gaiman meets Samuel Colleridge. [This guy did not know me or my auther preferences…so this comment got me excited…though I’ll have to start reading Colleridge and see if there’s a resemblance.]
-I love your unique style.
-Once again, very excellent prose. It’s filled with language that is both philosophical and tense and a shockingly consistent tone.
-You are able to capture dark rather well.
-You captured Curly and Jack. They are clearly described and defined. There words make them come to life.
-This story slowly unfolds but it’s right on time. Great job. Why do you write so dark and spiritual?
-I enjoy the way you write a story and it also reads like poetry. The ability you have to compare as well as intertwine words also brings your writing to life.
-Pure dark poetry!
-As always, your descriptions and attention to detail is outstanding, very realistic so readers are able to lose themselves in the story.
-I like the wordplay (alliteration + repetition), even though the interludes are prose, they do not lose the musical sound of “Book One.”
-I flippin’ LOVE this line!
-I love reading your stories…but especially hearing you read them out loud.
-The imagery and alliteration are awesome – it begs to be read again and again.
-Josh—This is incredibly original! You really do have a command of the language and the structure. It definitely has that ol’ Neil Gaiman feel to it.
I’ve also been told that I have a nice assonance 😉
And certainly the constructive bits of criticism and analysis are as important and have been digested, recorded, or utilized already.
Motherf*%#er!
Play practice is going well. The director really likes what I’m doing. I’ve always wanted to play Oedipus Rex. I’m glad my friend Joanna (who thinks I have a nice assonance) convinced me to go try out. I forgot how much I miss performing. Since grad school started, I’ve mostly concentrated on writing. Acting was just on the verge, I could feel it, of becoming one of those things that I might say, “Yeah…I used to do that…in college.” Good save. And good assist Joanna.
Tonight, I walked the girl in charge of costumes across campus, after rehearsal (because it was late and dark and there might have been nefarious folk out there…so all the better to walk with a nefarious looking guy). She said she was really impressed with what she saw (she doesn’t see the practices on a day to day basis…so the progress gets to her in bursts). She told me she thought I should be in movies as I had a very “intense and unique face” and that, if she had to pinpoint what it was, she’d have to say it was my nose. So there you go Torrie…someone else shares your love of my nose.
I told her she should see my assonance.
I told you!!!
FYI…
In terms of your family, if they start outwardly pushing that you change just tell them, “The mother of my god-child chose me for my ways. Do you want to be responsible for ruining that?” It might shut them up!
Re: FYI…
🙂
Thanks Amy.
You make me smile.
Re: FYI…
And that is my usual defense when someone calls me on being “dark.” Children and animals tend to like me and they can’t be wrong about that kind of thing.
on family: yeah, I get tired of being saved…though for a while I think my family gave up on me. Now I think they’re all sure being a mom will change my ways. I know my parents thought the larp stuff was totally creepy and I guess they figure it was just a phase. Now it’s my in-laws I fear…there’s a whole lot I’ve done, do, think and believe that they will never know about me. And I’m not even going to talk about my husband who keeps a copy of The Catechism on the bedside table. At the end of the day you must remember that you answer to yourself and God, not your family. I don’t think God minds dark stories.
on dark stories: You have a gift, it is an amazing gift. Your ideas have such creativity and imagination, and are expressed beautifully with unique thought patterns. I love your writing and I still plan on performing your work.
on acting: congrats man, I’m glad to hear you’re back in the game. 🙂
oh and I forgot…you do have a great assonance
Thanks 😉
That’s a wise course…answering to God and self and not others. I don’t think God would mind dark stories either. That’s the funny thing…when I get into disagreements they are of the “you disagree with me…you disagree with God” position (which seems rather egocentric to me). Never had a problem with God. They keep insisting that I must.
On Dark Stories: Thanks. You can perform my stuff anytime.
On Acting: It’s great to be back.
you mother fucker!
(insert corny laughter)
I second everything Amy and Dee said, and I want to point out that you have three gorgeous and brilliant women here who have and always will jump to your defense. That’s gotta make you feel somewhat better, right? 😉
Thanks you. And that does make me happy. And…oh…judging by the boards I now count four answers from gorgeous-brilliant women and that makes me mui-mui happy.
…and a comment by an old guy 😉
Family-wise: Just be who you are and make sure you are happy with your decisions. As Dee said, you answer to yourself and God ultimately. Just continue to love you family.
Writing-wise: I would love to read more of your work than just what you’ve posted. You are a very good writer and I wish I had the talent you have. That’s why I’m a Lit. major, not Writing.
Theatre-wise: I would also love to see you in Oedipus. The only acting I’ve seen with you is Improv, and you’re really good. I can only imagine what you can do with a script and a director.
Family-wise: I concur.
Writing-wise: I love to be read. I might post some more stuff here…I also tend to have a story or two on my person (in my man-purse) at any given time. Also, last year’s Spring issure of ELM (Volume 12 no. 2 I believe) has my story “Teddy Bear Rex” if you haven’t read it (I don’t know if copies of that float around Eureka or not…and if they do…they must be magical books to float like that…). And also, also – I’ve been published twice on a little vampire web-magazine. Two stories…at…let’s see…ah, you want to go to http://www.bloodlust.uk.com/stories.php and scroll down. My story “Foor Poor Lucy” is the second one listed…and if you scroll down a bit further, there is my story “Varmints.”
I might post a ‘nother bit of my epic today.
Theatre-wise: I’ll be posting times and ticket info today as I’d love to get a group of the Eureka croud to come on down.
See, from the first time I met you, I wanted to see your assonance. I also struggle daily with whether I should join those brave chair-builders in their noble profession.
Nothing wrong with ego stroking. Let me add another comment: “Josh, you’re so dreamy. Do you do nudes?” If someone told me I wrote as well as Gaiman, I would have it tattooted on my face. I was a big Sandman fan, like many, didn’t read as much as I would’ve liked. Really dug Seasons of Mist (that’s the one where Lucifer gives him the key to Hell, right?
Good luck with the whole mom-wife fucking thing. Give us a shout-out when you’re coming back to the big E.
Why yes, I do nudes…but my agent has a seperate contract for that (he’ll go over the details with you);.
I just might get it tattooed to my face. And Season of Mists is the one with Lucifer and the key and it is siting on the shelf, above my computer, as we speak.