“The monsters make me hide.
Perhaps I’ll eat myself alive.”
-Chiasm, “Isolated”

This week…

Over the weekend I went to Rich’s grad party and had boku fun. We sang. Some of us passed out. Some of us played cards. Some got sick. I fell off a table (still have the bruises to show for it). I got to stay up past the sunrise and talk mythology, religion, and more mundane things besides…

Sunday I went to the Renaissance fair. It was fun. I got a book on sword fighting, so now I can relearn the names of some of the stances and defenses from stage combat class. Though I was not dressed as a Medieval guy, I did get lots of comments on my Jimmy Buffette, pirate T-shirt.

Wednesday morning I woke up in a tremendous FUNK. It was hard to breath. Angry, depressed, irritable, I couldn’t will myself out of it. Maybe it was a combination of things – a deadline for my thesis closing in on me (various other projects having kept me from it for most of the summer…and now mounting computer problems) – the struggle not to become a total sloth, at home, over the summer (when things like awards, ambitions, and accomplishments seem so far away) – an all but dead love life (these days I have lots of friendly tears on my shoulders, but my collar is bereft of lipstick) – and a spiraling sensation of loss of control over things (this is weird for me as I usually beat that feeling by NOT trying to control things…selecting currents to ride is my normal M.O.). And lately (maybe because of some of those things) I just haven’t felt like myself. I’ve felt trapped in my head, unresponsive socially, just not myself…like I got kryptonite in my socks. And Wednesday all those hydra heads came out at once, gnawing my insides, making me feel hollow and angry.

I yelled at a lot of inanimate objects.

Then I had to drive in traffic. I was just trying to turn my teeth around and eat my own brain, when I pulled behind a van with a little girl in the rear window. She looked at me and waved and smiled a gap-toothed smile. I waved back.

She made a face.

I made a face.

Between lights, we exchanged various, goofy faces. I can’t say whether I won this contest or not, but I represented! I felt better. At the risk of sounding cutesie and cliché (not to mention strange for a guy who normally takes comfort in voodoo dolls, all things painted black, and bone skull décor) I felt better after playing goofy faces with a five year old.

Sitting in my yard, letting Lenore slither laps helped me feel better too. I find focus and comfort in the tactile experience of snake. But then…I’ve always held the belief that, like wizards, writers (or any creative craftsmen) need a familiar.

Tonight I found out that the website that published a few vampire stories of mine (http://www.bloodlust-uk.com/) is putting out a physical anthology of their published pieces. So I guess I’ll have my name in a British book and a couple of stories.

Also, I discovered that French Vanilla coffee, mixed with vanilla rum, is great.

Not 100% – but better than I was on Wednesday.

PAX

“I am, I am, I said I’m not myself,
But I’m not dead and I’m not for sale.”
-Stone Temple Pilots, “Trippin’ on a Hole In a Paper Heart”

Hey everyone.

This is a call for research help regarding angels – info for the epic poem I’m writing.

I need instances where angels show up, or are mentioned, in the Bible (for example, the angel appearing to Mary – or the angel of Death plaguing the Egyptians). If you can recall certain places or stories they showed up in, great. If you know specific passages, even better.

I’m not asking for anyone to do any extra research, just any info you have off the top of your head is fine. I’ve got a Bible here and I’ll eventually get to that and other bits of research…but I have more research than I’ll be able to get done before I finish writing this thing, so any saved leg work will allow me to do more before this is all over.

Thanks.

Anyone interested in a bat outing at Volo Bog? It’s on Friday the 5th – the day before the slip n’ slide party. All are welcome. If you are traveling a great distance for the party on Saturday, you are welcome to do so and stay Friday night, if you want to see the bats. Here’s the info:

Bats in Your Belfry? An Evening with Bats at Volo Bog State Natural Area

Come get to know these fascinating mammals of our night skies. After a slide show intro and discussion, Volo Bog Naturalist Stacy Iwanicki will lead a visit to Illinois’ largest known nursery colony of little brown bats. Part of the program is outside: bring lawn chairs, blankets, binoculars & insect repellent (please do not pre-apply repellent!). Ages 7 to adult are welcome. Reservations are a must as group size is limited. Please phone 815-344-1294 or email volobog@imaxx.net.

CHICAGO AREA
Anderson’s Bookshop Presents
Neil Gaiman
Thursday, September 22, 7:00 p.m. Doors will open at 6:30 p.m.
Pfeiffer Hall at North Central College
310 E. Benton Avenue, Naperville, IL 60540
Tickets are required (and FREE)*

Some of these names are pretty silly. But the punk rock name is awsome and I’ll be sure to use it the second I join a band.

They say the best revenge is to outlive someone. Now is that urging me towards a peaceful solution…or is it a sly prompt towards murder???

Don Quixote mistook buildings for ogres.

Dante mistook ogres for buildings.

And somehow that seems to be a profound thing at 4:00 AM…

Political Correctness, n.
The superstitious notion which states that constantly renaming various nouns, and diluting their meanings, is a sign of respect towards the subject, the practice of which appeases various, invisible conflict, tension, and embarrassment deities which, according to this dogma, should be feared above death and personal violence.

Metaphysical jet lag puts bags under the mind’s eye.

“I don’t understand why I sleep all day,
And I start to complain that there’s no rain.”

All I can do is write a book to stay awake 😉

I’m correlating voodoo lore and an ocean of old notes on my epic. I’ll finish doing that tomorrow night (doh! tonight). I’ll start the writing, in earnest, on Thursday (throwing in the bits and chapters that I already have done, as I get to them). I hope to have the first arch (the real world) of the story done by the end of next week. Then it’s a month sprint to the finish line. Oh God.

I started, the other day, working on a photo/prose/poetry book with my Dad. He’s scanned some of his better photos into a program that allows you to make a book, send it via the internet, and pay a company to print it out for you. He’s supplying the pictures and I’m doing the words – the working title is VISIONS: poetry in words, light and shadow.

Still no word from White Wolf (not sure when I hear from them).

And a shout out to all you fine, young cannibals out there – people are Atkins friendly.

Torrie made some kick ass south park versions of me, Wil, and herself…so I’ll post them up here as well. Enjoy.