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Joshua Alan Doetsch

~ Author & Scrivnomancer

Joshua Alan Doetsch

Tag Archives: twilight tales

My Fiction In Review #1: Blood, Snow, and Sparrows

15 Tuesday Sep 2015

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Anders Manga, blood snow and sparrows, Bloodletting On the Kiss, book of dead things, Captain America, Chicago, Eric Cherry, My fiction in Review, my wares, podcast, Psuedopod, red lion pub, The Crow, Tina Jens, twilight tales

Book of Dead Things

It’s a time of transition. A little lull. I’m rearranging my writing space, both physical and virtual. Retooling. Getting ready for future projects. I finally cleaned up and updated my Written Works page.

So I figure it’s a good time to dust off my wares and review what’s come before. Starting today, every day, I’ll set out a juicy sample, an excerpt and some commentary for each of my published and available works. Care to time travel with me via spilled ink?

Our first story takes us back to the beginning, 2007 (and some years prior), back to Twilight Tales.

Twilight TalesTwilight Tales was weekly genre reading series in Chicago. Every Monday, area writers gathered in the warm, dim light of the Red Lion pub to read their genre fiction to the gathered audience. It was a motley collection, all ages, all experience levels. A lot of writers shared their wisdom or cut their teeth here. The Red Lion (a British-style pub) was itself a character. Old and creaking, with a splendid beer garden with a tree, our Yggdrasil, growing impossibly out of all the buildings. It was on more than one haunted tour. Hell, this is the place that Captain America beat the crap out of Giant-Man/Ant-man. Sadly, the Red Lion was eventually torn down. I here tell it has since risen again in a new incarnation (though I haven’t been there yet).

Twilight Tales was where I honed my words. Reading to a live audiences teaches you storytelling lessons you don’t learn in any other way. I met fantastic people. I heard wonderfully bizarre stories. It was just the right place, the right time, and the right mix of folk. It was my sandbox and playground, and I miss it fiercely.

Twilight Tales takes us to The Book of Dead Things. Published by Twilight Tales Press, I had submitted a story to it (I forget what) and it was rejected. Later on, I read a different story at the open mic. Tina Jens (one of the editors) liked it so much she asked to include it.

Success! “Blood, Snow, and Sparrows” was my first professional sale in print. I wrote it in a grad school class. I’m looking at it now. This goes back far enough that I can cringe at parts and think Ugh…did I make that sentence? But we have to start somewhere. And it did earn me one of my favorite comments:

Joshua Alan Doetsch is not good. Joshua Alan Doetsch is darkly transcendent. It was so amazing it was like Ray Bradbury got high and started listening to Nine Inch Nails and decided to write about ‘the
Crow’.

You can pick it up in one of the few copies of The Book of Dead Things still floating about. You can also listen to the entire story, for free, as an audio read on the Psueodpod podcast.

Without further delay, here are the first few paragraphs (and a little mood music by way of the Psuedopod intro tune).

Blood, Snow, and Sparrows (an excerpt)

Desdemona used to trace the stars with her finger, connecting the dots, naming her own constellations.

I call upon her name.

Desdemona.

I call her name when I want to remember.

Desdemona—who gave me thirty-one birthdays when I had none. Desdemona—who laughed and made snow angels on rooftops because the snow there was cleanest, the closest to Heaven. Desdemona—who made an angel of snow and blood in the dirty street on the day I lost her.

I remember this, now, as Zeek struggles in my arms, anger and fear evacuating his body in crimson spurts, and my smile dislocates my jaw. Zeek with the shroud-eye, one eye glaucoma-clouded, said it was his evil eye, said he could hex a body with a stare, cast a pestilence. But, see, I knew better. I knew it was Zeek’s dirty needles that killed the kids. And the night collapses with primate shrieks, as Zeek tries to lift his bloody gun and…

Freeze. Too far. Backtrack.

Once upon a time, Desdemona Mercer giggled in frustration and joy and chucked her astronomy textbook off the roof we made love on. She connected the dots and named her own constellations, and when the winter wind came, we folded in on one another, seeing how close we could get in my sleeping bag. We spent hours seeing how close we could get.

Now, I stare in the cracked mirror, and I connect the track marks on my body, form constellations with them. I name each one. But then the memories cut too deep, and I give up on the angry stars burning in a pale Milky Way of collapsed veins, and I plunge the needle behind my eye and inject.

I count the bullets—one, two, three—and wonder how many good deeds it’ll take.

Nightscares and Ghoulscapes!

30 Thursday Oct 2008

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book of dead things, readings, twilight tales

Hello denizens of Halloween town!

Check out the upcoming event, below. I and some other authors will be reading some dark tales in the NorthWest suburbs of the city. Check it out:

Local Chicago Area Authors Read From:

The Book of Dead Things
&
Hell in the Heartland Anthologies

Come join the Horrrrrror!

When?
Thursday night, All Hallow’s Eve’s EVE!
10-30-08

What Time:
7 PM-9PM(ish)

Where:
Top Shelf Books
47 East Northwest Highway
Palatine, IL 60067

POTLUCK OF TERROR!
Bring Food, Drink, Merriment and TERROR!

It only hurts when I laugh – It hurts a lot

13 Saturday Sep 2008

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adam west, blood snow and sparrows, pseudopod, sex games, twilight tales

Pox on it!

Went over the horror story of my finances more today, now that the novel draft is in. Ugh. And double ughgh. The real world really does try to kill a body a bite at a time. I think it’s a nasty demi-god that got created in the paradigm of the last century. Disbelieve it, kids. Disbelieve.

On a happier note, I had a pretty fun week that involved me actually leaving the house. I also did a bit of creative output that served no particular purpose (just for me). I think, I am at my best when I’m only entertaining myself…and an audience stumbles upon me.

On Monday I got to visit a TWILIGHT TALES open mic and see sum writing chums and read some short fiction (which they seemed to like) and, more importantly, to get into a discussion on the philopshy and methodology of creating couples’ sex bordgames.

Also, an audio horror short fiction podcast I like to listen to, PSEUDOPOD, has purchased my story, "Blood, Snow, and Sparrows". I just sent in the contract earlier this week. That means that, sometimes in the near future, they will record an audio reading of my story and broadcast it on their podcast, meaning you can download it to your little iPods, meaning my story can be fed into your digitially via the ears, meaning I’ll be sitting between your ears and in your heads…

I’m a huge fan of audio fiction and am very excited to hear it.

Oh and here’s a moment of zen:

Procrastination is the Perfect Drug

08 Thursday May 2008

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book of dead things, music, strangeness in the proportion, swing state, twilight tales, white wolf, writing

Neck deep in novel.

I’ve got less then a month to go and most of it (the new draft) to write. I picked up a lot of slothful habits that I’m having a bitch of a time trying to kill. But I need to. If I’m not productive, I tend to not sleep well these days…so writing and running and working out and writing…hopefully when the month is out I’ll have a book and be a bit thinner (all to earn the zzzzzz’s).

This pretty much leaves me a hermit until June 1st.

But I’ll try and pop on here, every so often, to surface…maybe a month of posts following the progress of a novel. It’s a novel for White Wolf. It’s a horror story…though I like to think of it as a love story on the other side of entropy. It’s about a very eccentric, absinthe addicted forensic pathologist, Simon, who meets a girl, falls for the girl, looses the girl, and then gets her back…one piece at a time (and he falls down a very twisted rabbit hole along the way). It’s called Strangeness in the Proportion.

By the bye, the reading at SWING STATE went really well. At first, I thought it wasn’t. It’s a loud and raucous place—nothing wrong with that…but I started getting the feeling, while reading my story from BOOK OF DEAD THINGS, that I was reading to an audience that couldn’t hear, and didn’t really want to. But…people started scooching up, people started complimenting, and as the Twilight Tales crew read further, we gathered more of them, and we read some more…only this time picking out the more lyrical, short, and violent/suggestive/funny/sexy pieces to read. I read my poem, “Poe Goes to the Singles Bar” and that seemed to be a hit. In the end, we sold as many, or more books than we have at quieter, more “attentive” venues, so I chalk it a success. Thanks for having us out Swing State!

Back to the novel…when I write, I like to make playlists for the things I’m writing, little (or big) soundtracks to my fiction. A lot of it is instrumental/mood music…but a sizable chunk has lyrics and sometimes lyrics help by adding images and words that help focus the project in question. I might make another post, later, about more of the music I listen to while writing this novel, but right now, I thought I’d mention two songs that I think sort of indirectly narrate the plot of the book (from different angels).

The first song is by my bestest friend, Torrie’s brother’s former band, Lucigen. The song is called “Cadaver”. The lyrics go:

strained stare in a new light
and a walk among the dead
in the moonlight
i know it’s strange but will you
try and realize this time
I could never paint you in memories
though I promised you my eternity
I could die with everything in harmony
with your golden eyed cadaver
falling over me

showering down on the window
leak the stars dust into your pillow
and I’ll whisper something
you will never know
forever these feelings will drift with me
all the currents will singe with your purity
and with the strength of a thousand antihistamines
and your golden eyed cadaver
falling over me

when do you suppose they’ll come after you
will they come for me
when they have recovered you
I’ll be the same as I was
when I endangered you
you’re a golden eyed cadaver
I’m in love with you



The second song is Nine Inch Nail’s “Perfect Drug”. Again, I can almost follow the plot of my novel by the lyrics:

I got my head, but my head is unraveling
Cant keep control, cant keep track of where its traveling
I got my heart but my heart is no good
And you’re the only one that’s understood
I come along but I don’t know where you’re taking me
I shouldn’t go but you’re reaching back and shaking me
Turn off the sun, pull the stars from the sky
The more I give to you, the more I die

And I want you
And I want you
And I want you
And I want you

You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug
You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug

You make me hard, when I’m all soft inside
I see the truth, when I’m all stupid eyed
The arrow goes straight through my heart
Without you everything just falls apart

My blood wants to say hello to you
My feelings want to get inside of you
My soul is so afraid to realize
Every little word is a lack of me

And I want you
And I want you
And I want you
And I want you

You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug
You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug
You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug
You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug
You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug
You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug
(whispering)
You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug
You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug
You are the perfect drug, the drug, the perfect drug

Take me, with you
Take me, with you
Take me, with you
(continues in background)
Without you, without you everything falls apart
Without you, it’s not as much fun to pick up the pieces
Without you, without you everything falls apart
Without you, it’s not as much fun to pick up the pieces
It’s not as much fun to pick up the pieces
It’s not as much fun to pick up the pieces
Without you, without you everything falls apart
Without you, it’s not as much fun to pick up the pieces

But, I think, if we shuffle the two sets of lyrics together…we come to something that gets really close to a surreal plot synopsis:

I got my head, but my head is unraveling
Cant keep control, cant keep track of where its traveling
I got my heart but my heart is no good
And you’re the only one that’s understood

Strained stare in a new light
And a walk among the dead in the moonlight
I come along but I don’t know where you’re taking me
I shouldn’t go but you’re reaching back and shaking me
I know it’s strange but will you
Try and realize this time
I could never paint you in memories
Turn off the sun, pull the stars from the sky
Though I promised you my eternity
The more I give to you, the more I die
I could die with everything in harmony
With your golden eyed cadaver falling over me

And I want you
And I want you
And I want you
And I want you

You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug
You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug

You make me hard, when I’m all soft inside
I see the truth, when I’m all stupid eyed
Showering down on the window
Leak the stars dust into your pillow
And I’ll whisper something
You will never know
The arrow goes straight through my heart
Without you everything just falls apart

My blood wants to say hello to you
My feelings want to get inside of you
Forever these feelings will drift with me
All the currents will singe with your purity
My soul is so afraid to realize
Every little word is a lack of me
And your golden eyed cadaver falling over me

And I want you
And I want you
And I want you
And I want you

And with the strength of a thousand antihistamines
You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug
You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug
You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug

When do you suppose they’ll come after you
Will they come for me when they have recovered you
Take me, with you
Take me, with you
Take me, with you

Without you, without you everything falls apart
Without you, its not as much fun to pick up the pieces
I’ll be the same as I was
when I endangered you
you’re a golden eyed cadaver
I’m in love with you
Its not as much fun to pick up the pieces
Its not as much fun to pick up the pieces
Without you, without you everything falls apart
Without you, its not as much fun to pick up the pieces

Tonight’s blog entry is brought to you by the largest word in the english language:

“Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis”

It’s a lung disease caused by breathing in volcanic particles.

Good night!

You’ll Find Me a Crow Left of the Murder

13 Saturday Oct 2007

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book of dead things, cafe aeon, excalibur, ghost stories, gothicfest, goths, halloween, readings, signings, twilight tales, volo bog

Preambles in Latex and Body Piercings
October, a month of Halloween is here.  So I got started.  Watched Young Frankenstein.

Check.

But there is still much to be done.

Tonight it’s ghost stories at Volo Bog.  Double check.

The other day, I was too resltess to sleep after 3rd shift and then after the sun rose, so I went for a walk-about at the bog.  I got to see a group of Sandhill Cranes.  They are very large birds, taller and larger than Great Herons.  They look something like a pterodactyl when they fly and sound something like a dinosaur when they call.  As they should.  They are very primordial birds, the oldest known species, having existed for some 6 million years.

Last night I visited GothicFest, with Sophia, at Excalibur Night Club.  It’s the right sort of night club for that kind of event.  It was interesting.  I wear black.  I like grinning skulls on my person…but I don’t know if I fit into the “Goth” scene, exactly (sub-genres—industrial, emo, etc.—are tedious little things, so I’ll skip them).  But one black bird roosting with a bunch of other black birds looks about the same, and they caw and I caw, but in the end, I think I’m on my own little branch.  Or maybe that’s the illusion we all like to maintain.

I saw strange and interesting sights and met strange and interesting people.  Some where funny, some freaky, some took themselves far too seriously, and some were eccentrically charming.  Most were actually pretty kind and inviting.

I did see something I hadn’t seen before.  There were performers, bands, singers, DJs, displays, and booths selling dark merchandise (we’ll just assume, from this point, that everything there was “dark” and I can stop using the word).  There were piercing booths, body mods, T-Shirts, action figures, post cards, and rubber dresses held up by impossible physics.  Then there were book booths: fiction—yes, occultism—yes, dark spirituality (crap…I used the word again)—yes.  But beyond this was a booth with fiction books and literary journals and a sign that said:  “Cthulhu vs. Jesus (yes, that Jesus)”.

I thought to myself, “ . . .”

VS.

Looking further, the sign said something like “An anthology of hardboiled horror, with a Christian twist.”  And so, I think, I was introduced to the Christian Goths.  Curiouser and curiouser.


Coming Attractions

Mark those calendars…

On November 3rd, Nick and I will be finishing the Halloween season with a special addition of the Doetsch Brothers Outdoor Theatre…yep, we’ll be dragging the projector and screen out back and screening a marathon of horror flicks.  Good, bad, scary, funny, all sorts.  More details to come.  There will be fire and copious amounts of cocoa and coffee to keep folks warm.  Start making movie recommendations.

On November 25th (tentatively at 7:30) there will be a Twilight Tales, Book of Dead Things, reading/signing event at Café Aeon in McHenry.  Details to follow (I’m still in the beginning phase of setting this up) but there should be several authors present reading some cool stories about…well…dead things.  Come out and give us your support.  You can sample Book of Dead Things stories, including mine (“Blood, Snow, and Sparrows”) over at the website.


Baby, I Gotta Get Some Links Off My Chest

Here are some links I’ve been saving, in no particular order or manner . . .

-Stephen King talks about the state of the American short story.

-Interesting article on the confusing world of nutrition and how mistaken paradigms are formed.

-Video interview with Bruce Campbell.

-An author’s research goes too far (cannibalism is fun kids!).

-And finally, if you know who Neil Gaiman is and you’ve seen the Superman movies, then you might find this funny:

Come with me to a dimension of sight and sound…

06 Sunday May 2007

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Tags

red lion pub, twilight tales

Just a reminder:

Monday night, at 7:30 pm is a Twilight Tales open mic at the Red Lion Pub.  I’ll be there to read some fiction for anyone interested.  Last week, at Twilight Tales, they showed an independent film that a local writer had made from one of his short stories (It’s called Stash and is very funn).  Afterwords, a few members and I discussed the science behind signatures…everyone had to get a pen and…whip there’s out (“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”).

 

In other news, I’m in the middle of cleaning my room and have already found no less than three species of animal previously thought extinct.

Spiral

11 Wednesday Apr 2007

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Tags

book of dead things, graveyards, grind house, matty & sara, printer's row, reese, sara joy, steve, twilight tales, wil

Graveyards.

 

Beginning and ending, over and under, and all my stories lately seem to start and stop at the graveyard . . .

 

Let’s start with BOOK OF DEAD THINGS.  I just sent my signed contract, in the mail, for my short story (“Snow, Blood, and Sparrows”) to appear in the anthology.  I got an email from the editor saying my story was “one of the strongest pieces in the book.”  Twilight Tales Press will debut the book at Printer’s Row, a big book festival in Chicago, June 9th and 10th.  Twilight Tales will have a booth there and I plan on attending for signing/reading type activities.  Look for the guy under the black fedora.

 

In the meantime, you can preorder Book of Dead Things at 50% off.  Orders should be made and paid through PayPal:  sales@TwilightTales.com.  Normally the book will be $18, but preorder books will cost $9 (plus $1.50 per copy for shipping).  You can preorder through April 16th (only a handful of days away).

 

Where were we . . .

 

The last time I posted was to announce winning the White Wolf Novel Contest.  The couple of weeks since then have mostly involved bouncing up and down Illinois and celebrating with various people . . .

 

. . . on March 30th, I went down to central Illinois where I got to go to the DZ formal at Eureka, with the lovely, lovely Sara Joy Boeke (who was looking like a movie star in a dangerous blue dress).

 

. . . the 31st saw me in Morton, playing a LARP game with friends and receiving the most kickassest bottle of rum I ever did see.

 

. . . April Fool’s Day and my cousin, Steve, sends me a nicely distorted picture of myself.  I’ll show you the before and after below.  I don’t know.  Even distorted, I think I still look pretty hot . . . in an inbred-mutant-Ringo sort of a way.  Yep, yep…it ain’t easy wiping the sexy off of this mug.  See the rest of Steve’s fiendish creations HERE.

  

 


. . . then, I sling shot back north, to go read the prologue chapter of my upcoming novel (Strangeness in the Proportion) and announce it’s immanent printing to the fine, supportive folks at Twilight Tales in Chicago, on April 2nd.  The MC, Eric, called me “something of a hero.” Activate blush . . . engage.

 

. . . next day and I’m back down in central IL, seeing some friend’s in Bloomington, who I haven’t seen in a long, long time.  And I got to play with my Goddaughter, Reese, who can now walk and talk in a strange, dead language.  She didn’t pay much attention to me until I stuck out my tongue and spoke in the same language . . . but then she came running.  Which reminds me . . . I owe her one children’s book, to be written in the uncertain future.  Oh, and it was her birthday on Monday.  The big . . .1.  I’ll be back, again (come this weekend), in Bloomington, to celebrate with her and her parents at Chuckee Cheeses.  Oh yes my lovelings, the Whack-A-Moles will be singing dirges and telling horror stories of my unforgiving assault for generations to come!!!

 

. . . hung around the Eureka for the rest of that week, mostly with Wil.  I got to see a baby horse, moments after its birth (unfortunately, the mother died soon thereafter) and watch it learning to stand and walk.

 

. . . back up north, on Saturday, Matty and Sara Jacobsen held a little dinner to celebrate the novel, at a restaurant in Wauconda and a lot of strangeness, magic tricks, crude jokes, and hilarity ensued.  Luckily, the waiting staff seemed entertained with us (which was nice as they could have easily been annoyed or scared of us).

 

. . . Easter involved the standard get together with the extended family and lots and lots of good food . . . but then drifted into seeing Grind House with my parents and brother (the family that goes to see ultra-violent gore-fests on holy days is the family that stays together).

 

And here we are and I’m back at home and I’m playing catch up.  But my nights have been sprinkled with encounters with fellow nocturnal folk (which is always fun as everyone else is usually asleep).  One, via internet, was with someone with an increasingly larger and larger list of things in common with me (right down to the same cemeteries wandered and the same ghost stories in Key West listened to).  The second, via phone, was with a friend I already know (and who also shares some similarities with me).  He called me, from a cemetery and we talked.  We touched upon life and death and that depression that creeps in during the early to mid twenties that I like to refer to as the Wasteland (this deserves a longer post . . . at a later date).

 

And so we come back to the cemetery.  Enjoy the ouroboros loop . . . just don’t choke on the serpent tail.

 

Night.

 

 

zombie work ethic: early to bed, early to rise

02 Monday Apr 2007

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diabeetus, twilight tales, wilford brimley

Hello to all of you carbon based life forms out there!

Tonight is a Twilight Fiction open-mic event at the Red Lion Pub.

I plan on being there and reading some freaky fiction.

BE THERE!

Or I’ll sic Wilford Brimley on you . . .

Snow, Rum, and Sparrows

27 Tuesday Mar 2007

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Tags

"snow, and sparrows", blood, book of dead things, twilight tales


Hello all.

 

I am very tired and the cells of my body surround a space filled with rum.

Quick note though.  This summer, my short story, “Snow, Blood, and Sparrows,” will be featured in Book of Dead Things, produced by Twilight Tales.  You can see a little image of the book cover on the website.

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