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Joshua Alan Doetsch

~ Author & Scrivnomancer

Joshua Alan Doetsch

Tag Archives: World of Darkness

You’re Dead and Out of this World

04 Monday Jul 2016

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Becket's Jyhad Diary, Beckett, Carmen Sandiego, clans, Classic World of Darkness, fedora, Gangrel, Indiana Jones, inhuman race, Malcolm, Norma Tanega, One World of Darkness, Onyx Path, pink penguins, V20, Vampire, vampire Beckett, Vampire the Masquerade 2nd ed, Vampire: the Masquerade, vampires, white wolf, World of Darkness, you're dead

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When you smile and it tears your face
It’s time for the inhuman race

Before I made my intrepid journey to China, I had a weird night with the pink penguins… But that’s a story for another time. Tonight, I saw my first set of bats in Beijing, flapping overhead, on my walk to dinner. I took it as an omen — so tonight, I want to talk about another intrepid figure sporting a fedora and satchel.

Is it…?

Carmen-sandiego

No.

Is it…?

ab7ea30e6311eba3c962e777716451f8

No.

I’m talking about the vampire Beckett.

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Those familiar with the table top RPG Vampire: the Masquerade, will recognize Beckett. He is the globe-trotting, Gangrel vampire scholar. He’s a fan favorite, certainly one of mine. Recently, I got to write him.

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The ooky-spooky folks over at Onyx Path Publishing are currently running a kickstarter for Beckett’s Jyhad Diary. Visit the link for a more complete description of that book — but it is a chronicle of Beckett’s adventures and misadventures around the world, digging into the mysteries of the metaplot. Becket is a sardonic voice and a skeptical pair of eyes. He’s an ideal point-of-view character.

Click HERE and you can even read the entire chapter I wrote, taking place in Chicago (in the un-pretty manuscript format). Chicago By Night was one of the earliest books I picked up for the Vampire game as an impressionable teenager. All of those plots and undead have been crawling in my brain for nearly two decades. And I got to revisit some of them!

And my proudest easter egg — the one that makes my inner fan squeal? Malcolm. If you dig back into the 2nd edition of Vampire: the Masquerade, the sample character they use for the character creation example is a Gangrel named Malcolm, a vampire narcotics cop (so deliciously 90s). I dug up old Malcolm. If we are celebrating this game and its 2+ decades of growth and development, why not take the very first statted character I (and I’m sure others) encountered and see how he’s grown and changed? Malcolm was made a vampire just when this game started. The histories are parallel. So take a peak at what Malcolm and the other Chicago vampires have been up to.

Also…tons more lovely chapters, by talented writers, taking Beckett through his paces.

What are some of your favorite past Vampire characters? Let me know. Till next time…

Goodnight out there, whatever you are.

5114fb255ad33249efcf39e02796488d_original

Lore of the Clans and True Detective

07 Thursday Jan 2016

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

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Tags

Classic World of Darkness, Eddy Webb, Haint Blue, One World of Darkness, Onyx Path, Pen n' paper games, RPG, table top games, The Followers of Set, The Poison Tree, True Detective, Tzimisce, Vampire 20th, Vampire: the Masquerade, VtM, white wolf, World of Darkness, Yoka T

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Once upon a time, when I was 16 or 17, I went into a bookstore and opened Vampire the Masquerade (2nd ed.). I’ve never been the same. I’ve done some writing since then. Fast forward. There is a new book available that I’ve contributed to: Lore of the Clans. You can listen to Eddy Webb talk about the development of my two chapters at the following links (the Followers of Set and the Tzimisce respectively).

I’ve done the math. I’ve been reading White Wolf books for longer than I have not been (yikes!). Since the beginning, if you crack open one of those books, you’ll find, in the opening credits, a little Special Thanks section. Contributors and other people involved are given thanks via little nick names. Even if I didn’t know the context of these inside jokes, the section always added a little warmth. So now, all these years later, of all the things I’ve done in this fictional world I’ve played in, I find this little bit tickles my inner teenage fan the most… Getting my own nickname.

Screenshot 2016-01-07 22.27.32

You can read the intro fiction to my Tzimisce chapter HERE.

Below, is the opening fiction to the Follower’s of Set chapter. Have you heard the legend of Haint Blue?

The Poison Tree

I’m rolling down the outer-roads, somewhere near the Okefenokee Swamp, edging on the static of “Black Snake Moan,” when the phantom signal comes in.

The car radio croons, “Mmm-mmm! Black snake crawlin’ in my room.” Then it says, “Zzzzzzzshhhhhhhhhh!” Then the music. Deep. Bottomless. Filled with the primordial blues of reptile sex. Music that taught people new ways to revel and kill. The music of Haint Blue.

The fuel needle does a heroin shiver over E. Sold my homicide badge to some kids for gas money three truck stops back. It was just the relic of a dead religion. My lost history. The cult killings—the gaudy headlines—crime scene photos—the screaming eyes of cadavers—the dead eyes of interviewees—the tendrils of conspiracy—the warnings from above—my lost vocation—lost marriage—lost. Empty context. An amphetamine stew of memories.

How long had I been chasing Haint Blue?

Static. Lost the music. My knuckles form a row of white tombstones on the wheel. I jerk left. Right. The music crackles back, filling my brainpan with sizzling eel afterbirth. His music.

Haint Blue. The Conjure Man. The walking mythos. Everyone knows somebody who knows somebody who heard his music live. Did a deal with the Devil at a crossroads, they say. His music shows you things, they say. His coffin-shaped guitar case holds secrets. For a trade, he’ll show you wonders. When the six-string priest plays, the dead dance.

In all of the twisted paths of the investigation—from prostitutes to deacons to drug dealers to government officials—the one constant was Haint Blue. Georgia truckers will vomit apocrypha about the rogue radio signal that comes in the late hours, Mesozoic lyrics you can’t quite make out. The sound virus.

No leads. Nothing left. All I had was the music. I don’t know how I know, but I know where to go. All roads lead to Haint Blue.

Just like that, he appears in the cyclopic glare of my last headlight. A dapper holocaust with his coffin guitar case. I’m out of the car, gun drawn. I aim for his heart. Gators bellow and eyes gleam in the dark off the road. Under the brim of his hat, Haint Blue smiles at me the way mushroom clouds smile at the sun. I drop the gun. Bullets are just an unnecessary rudeness.

All the terrible things I saw to find him, the things I did, just rungs down the ladder. Every clue teasing the ultimate secrets of the cosmos, like humming a song you can’t quite remember.

“More,” I say through the tears, “please show me more.”

He nods. His pale blue tie glows in the black, like a river of souls dribbling down his chin to his belt. He offers me a straight razor. I cut along, not across.

Frogs croak prayers to the void. The smell of rotting peat. The feverish crossroad pavement.

When did I lay down? That’s when I notice the bottle trees—small, dead trees with blue bottles stuck on the ends of the bare branches. Used to see them in yards, when I was a kid. Mama’d say some hoodoo about the bottles trapping roaming night spirits until the morning light destroyed them. The wind blows piping music through the stained glass branches.

A cold palm presses my mouth. Baptism tastes like unlucky pennies. “See you on the other side of Duat,” Haint whispers like a kindly psychopomp. Then he strangles his six strings down to revenant whale groans. He sings, but I can’t catch all the words.

“…I was angry with my foe—I told it not, my wrath did grow—and I watered it in fears—night and morning with my tears—and I sunned it with smiles—and with soft deceitful wiles—and it grew both day and night—till it bore an apple bright…”

The gators become crocodiles. The sky opens wide, showing the convoluted pantheon that is its teeth. The godmonster menagerie—all perched in the branches of the Poison Tree of Souls. Before the river of death carries me away, I hear the breaking of blue glass. Haint cackles, “Come out! Come out! Meet your new sibling.” Funny thing, as the bottles break, the mad piping does not quiet. It grows louder.

Poison Tree

art by Yoka T

Signed Books II: the Reckoning

22 Tuesday Sep 2015

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

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absinthe, Christopher Shy, horradorable, James Lowder, Joshua Alan Doetsch, making necrophelia cute again, novel, Onyx Path, signed novel, strangeness in the proportion, toe tags, Vampire: the Requiem, weird romance, white wolf, WoD, World of Darkness

Elizabeth Báthory had a dwarf accomplice named Fickó.

That fact has nothing to do with the rest of this post. Books! Specifically, my novel! I recently sold a small box of them I stumbled upon, and they sold fast. In fact some people who contacted me were not able to get one. So, I’m going to do a second round of signed copies of my novel, Strangeness in the Proportion.

You too will smile as big as this happy reader…

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What do you get?

  • A physical copy of the book! All three dimensions (plus a bonus dimension). Look at that creepy cover by Christopher Shy.
  • Autographed, with anything else you’d like scrawled in it.
  • A genuine toe tag bookmark (never mind how I got them!).

The price (which includes shipping) is $25 to ship to the US and $45 to other countries (sorry, shipping nailed me last round). You can also buy the book cheaper and in electronic format (but sans signature and toe tag) at the link above.

I’ll accept payments through Paypal. If interested, email me at scrivnomancer@gmail.com (that’s not my paypal address, email me first) for details. I’ll get a shipment of the books in October, which means I should be able to have shipped to people before Halloween (a perfect time to read it!).

Want a taste of the novel? This is my short and sweet synopsis:

Boy gets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets girl back…one piece at a time.

Want a deeper look? The dynamic duo at The Booked Podcast does a lovely review of it.

A Toe Tag From Me is Like a Valentine

05 Wednesday Aug 2015

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absinthe, Christopher Shy, horradorable, James Lowder, Joshua Alan Doetsch, novel, Onyx Path, strangeness in the proportion, toe tags, Vampire: the Requiem, white wolf, WoD, World of Darkness

UPDATE: My copies of the book are sold out, but more can be bought HERE.

The last few weeks saw a lot of road trippin’. A visit home to my parents’ house turned up a forgotten box of copies of my novel, Strangeness in the Proportion. Behold!

File 2015-08-05, 10 52 45 PM

I will be moving soon and must shed the weight of as many earthly possessions as possible. That’s where you come in! I will be taking online orders for copies of the book. $20 will give you the following:

  • A physical copy of the book! All three dimensions (plus a bonus dimension). Look at that creepy cover by Christopher Shy.
  • Autographed, with anything else you’d like scrawled in it.
  • A genuine toe tag bookmark* (never mind how I got them!).
  • Shipping (if you live in some far flung place, we can talk about how much that’ll cost).

Want a taste of the novel? This is my short and sweet synopsis:

Boy gets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets girl back…one piece at a time.

Want a deeper look? The dynamic duo at The Booked Podcast does a lovely review of it.

I’ll accept payments through Paypal. If interested, email me at scrivnomancer@gmail.com (that’s not my paypal address, email me first) for details. First come, first serve. Only a small handful of these.

*And If I already owe you a toe tag, that’s coming soon!

WEIRD LOVE –or– Valentines With Ventricles

17 Tuesday Feb 2015

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

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Tags

anthology, Chaosium, Cthulhu, Cthulhu Mythos, H.P. Lovecraft, Horror on the Orient Express, love story, lovecraft, Lovecraft Mythos, Madness On the Orient Express, Onyx Path, Orient Express, romance, short stories, Sparrow and Crowe, strangeness in the proportion, Valentine's Day, weird fiction, weird romance, white wolf, World of Darkness


SC_WeirdRomance_Cover_Final2

So the romantic weekend is concluded. Chocolates have been eaten. Flowers passed. Cards. Perfume. Heart-shaped everything.

Now you want some unorthodox romance. Some strange love. Valentines that beat. Look no further!

  • A sweet romance between a forensic pathologist and a cadaver (my novel Strangeness in the Proportion).
  • A hot and heavy romance between a teenager and a frog in the Everglades (my short story “Harlow’s Fairytale” in the Weird Romance anthology).
  • A romance between recovering lunatics, riding on a train through the Lovecraft mythos (my short story “Stained Windows” in the Madness On the Orient Express anthology).

Bloody Love

18 Wednesday Dec 2013

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Blood and Smoke, Blood and Smoke: the Strix Chronicle, dice, Onyx Path, pen 'n paper, Roleplaying, roleplaying game, Vampire, Vampire: the Masquerade, Vampire: the Requiem, VtM, VtR, white wolf, WoD, World of Darkness, yummy praise

VampireM&R

Here are some lovely words that have already been laid down regarding Blood & Smoke from various sources:

“Blood & Smoke is like V:tR and V:tM came together, had a revenant baby and it grew up to be a blood drinking fiend of pure awesome.”
–@AlienStoneDog, Twitter

“I’m so enthralled by this release. There’s this casual, powerful confidence to the writing that continues to wow me and drag me in. Seriously, hats off.”
–Leetsepeak

“Blood and Smoke is clever, sexy, and stylish. The tragedy is still there, in the subtext. But it’s all delivered with smooth smiles, confident strides, celebratory grotesqueness, and blood-stained cool.”
–ArcaneArts, Onyx Path forums

“I really love the energy that the writers put into this. It’s clearly a labor of love that makes reading it a joy.”
–Aiden, OP forums

“That aside, the book is gorgeous. Not just the art (which is fine), but the words are so well done. I’m only 25 pages in and I keep stopping to go ‘Wow, that was a pretty turn of phrase.'”
–BitterOldJoe, RPGnet

“The language and artwork of the book so far has so much flavour with better descriptions and different points of view that it quickens the original EVEN without using the rules. So Bailey and co for the win.

“Interestingly one of my first impressions is that there is a mechanical and narrative shift to night by night play. Not that it dissuades from the longer term but there is so much ‘juice’ in what could happen over several nights that you would hate to miss even one drop!”
–VampDT

“And, overall, the names were correct & rest of the terms properly applied. I think this is a first ever for an RPG book referring to modern Greece. I’m impressed.”
–Yo! Master, RPGnet

“I’ve been reading more. You know what? I’ve been a WoD fan since almost the beginning, and this is the first Vampire game I have seen that works for me. I want to run a game of it. I’m going to try selling my group on it when I see them. I haven’t had that experience before. I’ve pretty much stuck to the other, non-Vampire gamelines.”
–Dionysos, RPGnet

“This book remembers everything I remember about vampires.”
–Tiresias, OP forums

“‘Vampire is about sex and murder’ is a hell of a ballsy way to open a book.”
–Stephen Lea Sheppard, RPGnet

“So I’ve almost read the whole thing now, and, well, it was as I had expected: A masterpiece. Cover to cover a marvelous piece of Darkness.”
–sikker, OP forums

That guy . . . whatsisname . . . Banderstatch Cumberbun?

09 Sunday Dec 2012

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adaptation, Banderstatch Cumberbun, Benedict Cumberbatch, cadavers, cumberbatch, horradorable, morgue, movie, novel, Onyx Path, simon meeks, strangeness in the proportion, white wolf, World of Darkness

Maybe, if Strangeness in the Proportion was ever to be made into a movie, we could convince Benedict Cumberbatch to play Simon Meeks.

Any other casting choices you’d make?

bodiesmorgue

Networking in the Morgue

25 Wednesday Apr 2012

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facebook, flash fiction, horradorable, making friends, micro-fiction, severed hand, simon meeks, social network, strangeness in the proportion, white wolf, World of Darkness

Simon Meeks tried to be social. He gave this Facebook notion a whirl. He posted stuff on his wall, and he waited and waited and waited for someone to friend him…

Letter From a Christian Goth

16 Friday Mar 2012

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

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absinthe, copy-editing, editing, James Lowder, Marshall Finch, novel, serialized novels, simon meeks, strangeness in the proportion, white wolf, World of Darkness

Back when Strangeness in the Proportion was being serialized on White Wolf’s website, we received feedback from readers, even as we were still editing sections to be released (and further polishing for its upcoming ebook and print incarnations). That was the coolest thing about serializing and the immediacy of interaction on the web — being able to get feedback while the clay was still a little damp. One World of Darkness denizen in particular, Marshall Finch, gave back a lot of copy-edit input that went into improving the book (you can find him in the Acknowledgements).

Marshal recently sent me an immensely nice letter. I think it’s my first fan letter. I’ve communicated electronically with a lot of people, but I do believe this is the first physical missive sent to me by someone who knows me primarily through my writing. I’m several hundreds miles away from my parents’ fridge. So I’m posting this here. Enjoy. Or don’t. This is for me.

Dear Joshua:

Thank you so much for signing this (and for writing it)! It was a pleasure to be one of the first to read it during proofreading. I have several favorite books, between which I cannot choose because they fall into different genres and do not compete with one another for the niches they occupy in my heart. Strangeness is among those favorites, establishing its superiority in the ranks of those works that populate the peculiar realm at once morbid and humorous.

There are few perfect characters in fiction. It’s the rare author who ever creates a character perfectly. most characters are flawed by design, too passive, uninteresting, or unrelatably without error, Even those characters designed perfectly usually come with some error in their execution, a scene in which they deviate, a page which doesn’t seem to fit with the rest. Simon is without such error. Simon is one of those rare perfect characters.

You deserve all the praise you’ve been given by your fans, and more attention. You’re handicapped by the strange void that your work fills — unfortunately the romance genre is more popular. Notwithstanding, yours is the better novel, better than any I’ve read in a very long time. Thank you for making it a part of my life.

In Christ,

Marshall Finch

Christiangoth

A big…proportion (see what I did there?) of credit, for Simon turning out the way he did, should go to my editor, James Lowder. I had a very raw idea, and Jim helped me hammer it. Simon had quite a few changes from the first draft on, both in conception and execution. Jim helped me make the most of him.

Good Lord! You should see some of the offshoot ideas I had in the re-outlining phase, that Jim killed with expert scythe swings. Simon just may owe him his life. Once a year, he leaves small, gory sacrifices on the mantle and raises an absinthe toast to the force known as the Lowder.

Skål!

In Ink & Audio

20 Tuesday Dec 2011

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

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Tags

absinthe, autopsies, Booked podcast, business card, Cask of Amontillado, Clive Barker, first novel, horradorable, Ichabod Knock, interview, Jane Doe, Livius Nedin, Nyx, Perfect Strangers, Poe, review, Robb Olson, Russian, simon meeks, strangeness in the proportion, the Critic, vampires, white wolf, World of Darkness

Would you like to hear a story? This is a good one. And very short. This is the story and the story goes: Simon meets Janie D. at work. She tells him who hurt her. She smiles. This is love. This is rigor mortis.

My first novel, Strangeness in the Proportion, is now available in print. This makes me more than a little giddy, more than a little, “Cousin Larry, we so happy, we do the dance of joy.” Why not buy a copy and share my giddiness?

If we can define power as the degree one affects the universe — and if we agree that buying a book by a mega-popular author (say Steven King) has less effect on his universe (by degrees) than a less popular, less accomplished author — then we can conclude that buying Strangeness may just be the most powerful purchase you make this year.

My tome received a blushingly nice review from the cool cats over at the Booked podcast.

Also did an interview with them the following week.

Not so long ago, I was somewhat worried that no one would like Simon and his scalpels and head full of undead crows and cadaver romancing. But people seem to be falling for the little weirdo. That almost feels more important to me than whether or not they liked the book. Maybe I’m just attached. We’ve been co-living in my head for over half a decade.

I recently ordered some business cards. I can’t resist Poe references. And you should respect my addiction.

To the Russian Clive Barker fans who found this blog via the internet search term “сенобиты” — I say to you:

Здравствуйте и добро пожаловать в этот дом странности.

And remember:

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