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Joshua Alan Doetsch

~ Author & Scrivnomancer

Joshua Alan Doetsch

Tag Archives: horradorable

Signed Books II: the Reckoning

22 Tuesday Sep 2015

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absinthe, Christopher Shy, horradorable, James Lowder, Joshua Alan Doetsch, making necrophelia cute again, novel, Onyx Path, signed novel, strangeness in the proportion, toe tags, Vampire: the Requiem, weird romance, white wolf, WoD, World of Darkness

Elizabeth Báthory had a dwarf accomplice named Fickó.

That fact has nothing to do with the rest of this post. Books! Specifically, my novel! I recently sold a small box of them I stumbled upon, and they sold fast. In fact some people who contacted me were not able to get one. So, I’m going to do a second round of signed copies of my novel, Strangeness in the Proportion.

You too will smile as big as this happy reader…

11951714_859575017459910_572870867099379928_o

What do you get?

  • A physical copy of the book! All three dimensions (plus a bonus dimension). Look at that creepy cover by Christopher Shy.
  • Autographed, with anything else you’d like scrawled in it.
  • A genuine toe tag bookmark (never mind how I got them!).

The price (which includes shipping) is $25 to ship to the US and $45 to other countries (sorry, shipping nailed me last round). You can also buy the book cheaper and in electronic format (but sans signature and toe tag) at the link above.

I’ll accept payments through Paypal. If interested, email me at scrivnomancer@gmail.com (that’s not my paypal address, email me first) for details. I’ll get a shipment of the books in October, which means I should be able to have shipped to people before Halloween (a perfect time to read it!).

Want a taste of the novel? This is my short and sweet synopsis:

Boy gets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets girl back…one piece at a time.

Want a deeper look? The dynamic duo at The Booked Podcast does a lovely review of it.

A Toe Tag From Me is Like a Valentine

05 Wednesday Aug 2015

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absinthe, Christopher Shy, horradorable, James Lowder, Joshua Alan Doetsch, novel, Onyx Path, strangeness in the proportion, toe tags, Vampire: the Requiem, white wolf, WoD, World of Darkness

UPDATE: My copies of the book are sold out, but more can be bought HERE.

The last few weeks saw a lot of road trippin’. A visit home to my parents’ house turned up a forgotten box of copies of my novel, Strangeness in the Proportion. Behold!

File 2015-08-05, 10 52 45 PM

I will be moving soon and must shed the weight of as many earthly possessions as possible. That’s where you come in! I will be taking online orders for copies of the book. $20 will give you the following:

  • A physical copy of the book! All three dimensions (plus a bonus dimension). Look at that creepy cover by Christopher Shy.
  • Autographed, with anything else you’d like scrawled in it.
  • A genuine toe tag bookmark* (never mind how I got them!).
  • Shipping (if you live in some far flung place, we can talk about how much that’ll cost).

Want a taste of the novel? This is my short and sweet synopsis:

Boy gets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets girl back…one piece at a time.

Want a deeper look? The dynamic duo at The Booked Podcast does a lovely review of it.

I’ll accept payments through Paypal. If interested, email me at scrivnomancer@gmail.com (that’s not my paypal address, email me first) for details. First come, first serve. Only a small handful of these.

*And If I already owe you a toe tag, that’s coming soon!

I Eat Raven Brains

14 Monday Oct 2013

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"The Mulligan", Alphabet, Amanda Gowin, anthologies, Anthony David Jacques, audio fiction, Axel Taiari, Bob Pastorella, Booked podcast, Booked. Anthology, Caleb J Ross, Cameron Pierce, Carnival of Lost Souls, Chris Deal, Christopher J. Dwyer, Craig Clevenger, Craig Wallwork, David James Keaton, Fred Venturini, Gordon Highland, horradorable, Kevin Lynn Helmick, Lit Reactor, Livius Nedin, M is for..., Mark Rapacz, Matthew C Funk, Michael Paul Gonzalez, Nik Korpon, Nikki Guerlain, Nox Arcana, Paul Tremblay, Pela Via, Richard Thomas, Robb Olson, Sean Ferguson, Seth Harwood, TW Brown, voice acting

LickShadow

Raven brains and lunch boxes, that’s what you’ll get in my story “The Mulligan” featured  in The Booked. Anthology, brought to you by those wicked lit-jockeys over at The Booked. Podcast. It’s a motley collection of authors doing untoward things with words. Here’s a little audio taste of my story:

Have a taste for more? Head to store at http://www.bookedpodcast.com/ (and get 50% off with the code: LR50). Read some twisted tales and join the October-long discussion.

Over the summer, I participated at the anthology’s release party, where I signed books, and read a new story, “Alas.” Give a listen to the Booked Live Event.

Booked

My Writing Cell

19 Saturday Jan 2013

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Tags

candles, Edgar Allan Poe, gothic, gothic decor, H.P. Lovecraft, horradorable, lovecraft, macabre, my apartment, one-eyed cat, Poe, procrastin, Raven the cat, skulls, tentacles, video, writing, writing space, www youtube, youtube

Tonight, I am sequestered in my writing space. This is a quick tour…

(Warning: may contain supernatural cat.)

That guy . . . whatsisname . . . Banderstatch Cumberbun?

09 Sunday Dec 2012

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adaptation, Banderstatch Cumberbun, Benedict Cumberbatch, cadavers, cumberbatch, horradorable, morgue, movie, novel, Onyx Path, simon meeks, strangeness in the proportion, white wolf, World of Darkness

Maybe, if Strangeness in the Proportion was ever to be made into a movie, we could convince Benedict Cumberbatch to play Simon Meeks.

Any other casting choices you’d make?

bodiesmorgue

Bela Lugosi’s Picture Pages

08 Tuesday May 2012

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Bauhaus, bauhaus bela, Bela Lugosi, Bela Lugosi's Dead, bell tower, Bill Cosby, crazy thoughts, darkened room, day dreams, deathly bloom, Dracula, horradorable, music, Oh Bela!, Picture Pages, stuck in my head, vampires

Yesterday, I had both the Bauhaus “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” and the theme song to Picture Pages stuck in my head. Round and round they whirled. A snag. A fray. The threads got tangled in my boiling brain…

The bats have left the bell tower
The victims have been bled
Time to get your crayons and your pencils
Bereft in deathly bloom
Alone in a darkened room
You can play with Picture Pages
Fill your day with Picture Pages
‘Till Bela Lugosi does a Picture Page with you

Networking in the Morgue

25 Wednesday Apr 2012

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facebook, flash fiction, horradorable, making friends, micro-fiction, severed hand, simon meeks, social network, strangeness in the proportion, white wolf, World of Darkness

Simon Meeks tried to be social. He gave this Facebook notion a whirl. He posted stuff on his wall, and he waited and waited and waited for someone to friend him…

In Ink & Audio

20 Tuesday Dec 2011

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

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Tags

absinthe, autopsies, Booked podcast, business card, Cask of Amontillado, Clive Barker, first novel, horradorable, Ichabod Knock, interview, Jane Doe, Livius Nedin, Nyx, Perfect Strangers, Poe, review, Robb Olson, Russian, simon meeks, strangeness in the proportion, the Critic, vampires, white wolf, World of Darkness

Would you like to hear a story? This is a good one. And very short. This is the story and the story goes: Simon meets Janie D. at work. She tells him who hurt her. She smiles. This is love. This is rigor mortis.

My first novel, Strangeness in the Proportion, is now available in print. This makes me more than a little giddy, more than a little, “Cousin Larry, we so happy, we do the dance of joy.” Why not buy a copy and share my giddiness?

If we can define power as the degree one affects the universe — and if we agree that buying a book by a mega-popular author (say Steven King) has less effect on his universe (by degrees) than a less popular, less accomplished author — then we can conclude that buying Strangeness may just be the most powerful purchase you make this year.

My tome received a blushingly nice review from the cool cats over at the Booked podcast.

Also did an interview with them the following week.

Not so long ago, I was somewhat worried that no one would like Simon and his scalpels and head full of undead crows and cadaver romancing. But people seem to be falling for the little weirdo. That almost feels more important to me than whether or not they liked the book. Maybe I’m just attached. We’ve been co-living in my head for over half a decade.

I recently ordered some business cards. I can’t resist Poe references. And you should respect my addiction.

To the Russian Clive Barker fans who found this blog via the internet search term “сенобиты” — I say to you:

Здравствуйте и добро пожаловать в этот дом странности.

And remember:

Who says six years of writing about a necrophile doesn’t pay off?

28 Monday Nov 2011

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

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Tags

absinthe, autopsies, Flames Rising, horradorable, Ichabod Knock, James Lowder, Jane Doe, milestones, novel, Nyx, simon meeks, strangeness in the proportion, the beast, Vampire 20th, vampires, white wolf, World of Darkness

It’s milestone time, my lovelies. My first novel is finally up for sale — Strangeness in the Proportion (published by White Wolf). Just tickle the beautiful corpse below:

Boy meets girl.
Boy looses girl.
Boy gets girl back…
…one piece at a time.

To answer a few questions about the book:

· The PDF sells for $4.99. The e-reader formats are not available yet (e-pub, kindle, etc.), but if people get the PDF at DriveThruFiction, those formats will be free for customers once available – they’ll appear as additional downloads.
· Print on demand is on the way, though I don’t know a date or price just yet (stay tuned!).
· Once all of the are formats are sorted out, the ebooks will be available at storefronts like Amazon, B&N, and the like.

And finally, in celebrating Vampire the Masquerade’s 20th anniversary, I have an essay over at FlamesRising.com about how I met the Masquerade. Warning: contains gore, slashers, and me as a grade school boy.

It’s been a long road and a surreal day. I’ve heard a few people, in retrospect, say that Vampire and World of Darkness fandom has been something more than gaming fandom, almost like the fandom for a favorite band. I feel like my favorite band asked me up on stage to play a few sets with them. Rock on.

Rule #6: Submit to no distractions

06 Thursday Oct 2011

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cats, distractions, horradorable, my cat, Raven, the black cat, the one-eyed cat, writing

“I have to write, I can’t pick you up and cradle you right now.”

“Mrow?”

“You are a lone huntress of the night.”

“Mrow?”

“Claws sharp as crescent moons. Fur black as a bad-bad dream.”

“Mrow?”

“You are a cycloptic, nocturnal predator–you need no one!”

“Mrow?”

“Dammit…”

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