• Blog
  • About Joshua
  • Written Works
  • Reviews

Joshua Alan Doetsch

~ Author & Scrivnomancer

Joshua Alan Doetsch

Tag Archives: pseudopod

Snake Brains & the Present Bias

23 Sunday Jan 2011

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

age of conan, funcom, haikus, Innsmouth Press, James Lowder, Killer Works, long term, novels, Poe, Present Bias, pseudopod, Rise of the Godslayer, short term, snake brains, strangeness in the proportion, The Book of Dead Things, This Endless Present

Writing a novel is the agony of going against every hard-wired stitch of the cross-hatched, multi-billion-year-evolved survival instinct programming of immediate gratification. Writing a haiku, by comparison, is the bliss of being that much closer to the primal, monkey-brained drive that says, “Yes, I want to eat that snake’s head. I want to eat it now!”

I had recent occasion to experience both. I placed in a novel contest and a haiku contest.

Strangeness in the Proportion
Several years ago, I won a novel contest. Between the then and the now, on and off, I worked on various drafts of this novel with the publisher (White Wolf Games) and my editor, James Lowder. It was hard. Really hard. Nearly busted my brain a few times. Nothing for respect for anyone that has gone through this process.

This winter, my big hunk of scrawling became available. My mutant child is all ready for company. It’s called Strangeness in the Proportion.  It is available, currently, as a 17 part serial over at White Wolf’s site.

You can find it HERE.

You can subscribe to the RSS feed HERE.

It’s received some nice comments so far. I will definitely feed it an extra bucket of fish heads tonight.

Poe Haiku
In my convalescence, as I strained foreign objects out of my liquid brains and funneled it back up my nose (using reversed Egyptian techniques), I wrote something much smaller, entering a contest calling for Edgar Allen Poe themed haiku. It was bliss. A quick burst of creativity, pen scratching, emailing, and then input and accolades.

I tied for 4th place.

Here are the haiku I entered:

Thirty-two pearly
I-love-you-nots. So in love,
I can’t hear the screams

Whisper
on your
shoulder.
You know
my name.
Just two
beats of
horror
Per Verse.

The Eight Chained Ourangoutangs!
Dwarf love conquers all,
And smells of burnt hair.

“And I held illimitable
dominion over all.”
Applause.
Red Death sits.
Black Death begins.

They made a mistake
T’was sharp senses, not madness
The heart beats. It waits.

I thank the practice I’ve received from lots of recent twitter-story (short stories in 140 characters) writing. Both forms call for the same discipline in implied story (to be discussed in an upcoming post).

The Present Bias
The human current human brain really isn’t any different than the one that sat in the skulls of our grandaddies n’ mommies who hunted mastodon. That brain still has trouble with the concept of the future. It’s predisposed to the now. That is the Present Bias. Big projects like novels go against that. So when is it worth transcending? When is it worth playing to the strengths of the now (and taking glorious 4th…er…half of 4th)?

Growing pains in the skull, right along the faultiness of the suture-cracks, that’s what you have to look forward too, but the agony is just a reminder that you are on to something better, bigger, if only can keep your focus and—

Mmmmm…snake brains…

Google Me…No One’s Looking…
While we’re on the subject of places stained by my ink, let me list some other places that still feature my writing (as a way of assessing myself in the new year, a time to make resolutions of transcending snake brain mastication).

Over at the This Endless Present (an online publication dedicated to dreams), you can read about a nightmare I had (it’s in the first part of the 3rd issue). I don’t know whether to call the piece fiction, or what I should do with it. I woke up, during my first month in Norway, and jotted it all down, as fast as I could go, before I could forget. I don’t normally have nightmares (especially ones that follow so vivid a narrative). I like it though. There was no overactive self-editor, as I was half asleep. I just wrote.

I have an article on the joys of audio fiction up at KillerWorks.com.

My short story, “Blood, Snow, and Sparrows” can be read in The Book of Dead Things and can also be listened to on Pseudopod.

And still (Still!) I have a short story up at BloodlustUK.com, titled “Varmints”. It is the first thing I ever had published. Be gentle.

These days, my daytime gig is writing video game dialogue and story. For the last year and a half, I’ve worked for Funcom (in Norway and now in Montreal). I write for the Age of Conan MMO, mostly in the Rise of the Godslayer expansion, and on some upcoming material.

Very recently, I’ve been playing with an idea for an anthropamorphic animal story, but not a kids story. I think it has its roots in childhood viewings of the The Secret of NIMH and Watership Down.

That evil rabbit haunted my boyhood as much as any movie monster.

Sleep tight, lovelings.

…TO BE CONTINUED…

07 Wednesday Oct 2009

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

cemeteries, funcom, hovedoya, micro-ficiton, oslo, pseudopod, ruins, snow-blood-and-sparrows, swine flu, the graveyard book, twitter

Where were we?

Ketchup. Catching up.

I let another week slide by between my half-time break in the recap of all that happened during the radio silence—which means more stuff transpired—so let’s quicken pace to get back to the near present, lest we forever mire ourselves two skips n’ a jump behind the Now…

OK…I’m not even going to organize this with conventional chronology. I mean, eventually our molecules are going to separate and information is going to break down and dissolve—it’s individual moments that are important—so screw organization, I’ll just sloppily jot this down as randomly and quickly as it comes to my brain and fingers.

But to give it a structure, let’s lean on the visual and you can participate in a metaphor with me. Picture a funky deck of cards. Each card is an individual moment-memory-thingy, a Tarot of my recent events in Oslo. See the deck? Solid in your mind? I’m shuffling it…I try and impress you with a nifty feat of shuffling prestidigitation…and bungle the whole thing at an adorably crucial moment and—SNAP—cards everywhere. 52 Pick-up!

What do I grab first?

…ah…it’s…

*The Ace of Plastic Bags*
Walking home from the subway, one night, with the Japanese lyrics of a song about a giant robot from a Godzilla movie stuck in my head…I noticed it…yes…the plastic bag was following me.

Through an odd confluence of wind, the plastic bag was more or less hovering, darting a few feet this way and that, at the level of my head, neither falling nor blowing away, in a kind of American Beauty sort of moment. It followed me for several paces like this…

…so I punched it in the face.

Don’t look at me like that. You have to be stern. Otherwise you’re the soft-knuckled fool in the city that all the plastic bags follow and swarm.

…oh my…the next card is ominous…an archetypal representation of minor pestilence…it’s…


*The Nine of Swine*

Had a bug. May or may not have been the Swine Flu. They take that seriously in these parts. I’ve never had a job demand I stay home sick for a week. I wasn’t that sick. I was ready to beg them to let me back. I was in my old, temporary apartment–four white walls in a cramped room and no internet. Got a little reading done. Went a little mad. Had to go to the doctors to get a note so I could get sick leave. They made me wear a mask and took me to the infectious room where other sad sops in masks sat. Boredom was the worst part.

Give a flu a name and people go nuts.

…and the next card is…oh…that is encouraging…it’s…

*The Two of Positive Press*
Sometimes, late at night, I Google myself.

Hey, don’t look at me that way! It’s just an adult game of Peek-a-boo—a bit of reality affirmation—if I type my name (“Marco!”) and something answers back (“Polo!”), I still exist.

I stumbled upon a VERY NICE REVIEW of my podcasted story, “Blood, Snow, and Sparrows”. [Hmmm…that link does not appear to be working…but trust me, it was sweet review. –THE MANAGEMENT]

Also received a comment on a stranger’s blog regarding that same story.

I got another bit of nice press via Twitter. Yes, Twitter. I know. Yes, I hopped on that. Look, as near as I can tell, the Cult of the Trendy and the Cult of the Anti-Trendy pretty much worship in the same way: they let the actions and opinions of others dictate their actions and opinions. I don’t have time for pretensions (or anti-pretensions), only enthusiasms (the difference between pretensions and enthusiasm is the same difference between the nervousness of a high-stakes investor driving his new sports car, wondering if it’s sending the right image to the world—and the pure joy of a kid riding her sparkling new bike in the mud).

Anyway—TANGENT ALERT—people are still figuring out what to do with these new communications technologies. We’re making it up as we go. And some people are using Twitter to challenge themselves to write ultra-ultra short bits of micro-fiction (whole stories in 140 characters or less). Inspired by my fellows, I wrote up a dozen or so over the last week (fiction stories I make up are marked by a #TCTC hash and not to be confused with the bits of my real life that I make up).

I’ve been linking them to a London Times Tweet-Story contest that is still ongoing. At the bottom of the article, it explains how to enter if you’re interested. And I got noticed. I was mentioned as a favorite in another London Times Article posted Saturday.
…and the next card…oh…it’s one of the Major Arcana…it’s…


*The New Apartment*

I am now situated in my new apartment. I like it. It’s cheaper than I thought I’d have to spend. I get along well with my flatmate and his two Italian greyhounds (a mother and her puppy). It’s in an old, charming apartment building and not an ugly new one…and so has high ceilings (which I appreciate after my last cramped room), good space, and my bedroom has a wonderfully large window. My new bed is a year old and apparently belonged to a diplomat prior. I asked my new bed if it would write me references and it agreed. There is a tree outside my window, and I’m at branch level, and it’s close enough to hear the wind-through-the-leaves sound that trees make if I open said window. There’s also a spooky basement that you have to duck down to walk through to get to the laundry machine—there’s groaning stories down there.
…next card…another Major Arcana…


*The Viking Church*

In my quest to see all the locations in my little Oslo Guide, I visited a little cemetery and church, built by a Viking King in 1080—just a walking distance from my apartment. It’s the oldest standing building in the city, surrounded by an old cemetery on a hill.

Better still…they don’t lock the gate at night.

I had the place to myself. Lit bright in the front, near the church, but dark-dark in the back and full of…atmosphere. Now, I am an atmosphere fiend. Some people have chocolate. I have atmosphere. And atmosphere is not a spectator sport. You get what you give and I can create quite a bit with quite a little…at least for myself (First rule of Josh: ENTERTAIN JOSH…if others get entertained too, so much the better). I did not have to put forth much…this was a smorgasbord of lush, creamy, creepy-bittersweet moods.

I went back, a few night’s later for a more extended stay. I wandered about and when my eyes adjusted and I got brave enough, I visited the dark back of the cemetery by the angel statue and a leaky well. Then the place just seemed charming and inviting and I listened to the last hour of the audio reading of Neil Gaiman’s, The Graveyard Book, smoked rum-dipped cigarillos, and explored every inch of the place (or tried to…I’m sure there are more hidden inches to find).

It was a good…moment…very in the moment…no future or past practicalities to muddle the mind. And the end to one of my favorite recently read novels was all the more poignant.

I bottle particularly good vintages of atmosphere and save it for later.

…next card…oh…it’s a good one…it conveys wandering souls and a fool’s prerogative…it is…

*The Ferry Fatuous*
I’m all about the cheap entertainment and the ferry to the various islands in the fjord of Oslo is free (or at least…I already have a monthly travel pass and it’s covered on that). So I decided to X a few more spots in my guide book. I like the ocean and I like boats and it’s nice to know I can take a boat ride whenever I like.

My target was Hovedoya, the first island, but I stayed on the boat for the round trip (past Bleikoya, Gressholmen, and Lindoya) and hit Hovedoya on the way back.

The island is mostly forest preserve with a few boating places and snack shops on some of the shore. I was in search of the ruins of a 12 century monastary that I read were there—wasn’t sure exactly where—but I found it pretty quickly.

Another spot I definitely liked. Very peaceful. Just a small trickle of visitors coming through here and there. Sat on an old well, covered by boards with a slight crack through them—and I wondered what they were keeping down there…

Mostly, the ruins are just free standing walls that from a sort of ceiling-less maze. But one of the turrets was still standing and (since there wasn’t any sign telling me not to) I went up the stone steps…which led to a little space on the second floor about the size of a really good tree fort. A little window allowed me to look outside. I sat there for the better part of an hour, undisturbed.

I’ll have to remember the spot when the weather gets warmer again…I think it’ll serve as a good reading nook.

…next…card…is…uh oh…it’s Death’s younger, less terminal cousin…

*The Phantom of Indefinite Enforced-Leave*
Funcom had a great purge of employees this last Tuesday. Very sudden. It was announced to everyone at Tuesday’s morning meeting. Then, one by one, we were called down to individual meetings to see if we still had a job.

I survived. I was told my place there is pretty secure.

The plan is now for more streamlined teams and—if things get richer and fatter again—to hire back those on enforced leave.

Friday I moved up to the 4th floor. Where once I was in a dark, barren corner (by myself) I’m now around friendly faces (and slowly learning the finer points of socializing again) have a window view, and even a plant. Granted, I distract easily, but I plan on trying really hard to…hmmmm….what?

Well…there’s probably more cards on the floor, but what say we cal ourselves caught up and start a new hand, yeah?

Cheers.

Murmurs from the Pseudopod

06 Tuesday Jan 2009

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

blood snow and sparrows, funcom, pseudopod, the secret world, training, writing

Gotten a lot of mostly good feedback for the audio version of my story (“Blood, Snow, and Sparrows”), over at Pseudopod.org and more comments over at their DISCUSSION FORUMS. My favorite comment so far was:

“Joshua Alan Doetsch is not good. Joshua Alan Doetsch is darkly transcendent. It was so amazing it was like Ray Bradbury got high and started listening to Nine Inch Nails and decided to write about “the Crow”. I hope to God that Joshua is writing a big fat novel that I can go buy and read.” —Old Man Parker

Every reference in that comment made me grin. It’s refreshing to find that you truly are what you eat.

Quest For Job:
To say that my finances are a mess is a cosmic understatement. The job search is ongoing and I’ve recently turned to job listings for full time writers at video game companies. Recently, a company in Norway, Funcom, contacted me, liked my writing samples and resume, and sent me a writing test. It was rather fun. They liked that enough to give me a phone interview and I should hear back from them this week.

The game I’d be writing for is called The Secret World and it right up my alley, subject wise, and I’m excited at the prospect of doing what I like for a living (maybe even enough to cover myself in soot and dance and sing about it, on rooftops, in a ridiculous accent, "I does what I likes…", etc., etc.)…but not sure I want to move all the way to Norway.

It would be an adventure though…

I’m hedging my bet by submitting to other companies though, in the mean time.

And if you need a private, dedicated word-weaver, I’m in the market, as it were, and quite a genius, and humble to boot, and what the hell ever happened to the rich patron system. Huh? There are plenty of wealthy folk out there who one-up each other with mundane items like houses and planes and mistresses.

Seriously, If you are rich and you want to one-up your rich douche-bag friends this year, buy me…

“This is Joshua Alan Doetsch, my private Bard. And what did you buy, Reginal…hmmm…another sports car…how pedestrian…hahahaahahahahaha!”

Quest for Less Gravity Love:
On the weight loss, training-for-the-bike-trip-come-September front, I’ve pretty much undone my meager gains over the holidays. But that’s alright. I was testing the waters. Tomorrow I start working out again and will do so more heavily and will plan a more specific diet (details to follow).

Wanna hear a story?

19 Friday Dec 2008

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

blood snow and sparrows, book of dead things, pseudopod


Hello, lovelings!

Pseudopod.org has broadcast my first piece of audio fiction (my short story, "Snow, Blood, and Sparrows" originally from Book of Dead Things).

I’m a big fan of audio fiction and tickled to have some of my own and find strange security in now existing in my iPod. I’d like to record some of my own audio fiction myself, sometime in the near future.

Anyway, go to the website and download and listen, if the mood strikes you. And if you like short bits of dark and horror fiction, subscribe. And if you really like it, FEED THE POD.

And if you’re not sure if you like audio ficiton or not, give it a shot. Chances are there is a little child inside, starved of the lovely ritual of being read to.

It only hurts when I laugh – It hurts a lot

13 Saturday Sep 2008

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

adam west, blood snow and sparrows, pseudopod, sex games, twilight tales

Pox on it!

Went over the horror story of my finances more today, now that the novel draft is in. Ugh. And double ughgh. The real world really does try to kill a body a bite at a time. I think it’s a nasty demi-god that got created in the paradigm of the last century. Disbelieve it, kids. Disbelieve.

On a happier note, I had a pretty fun week that involved me actually leaving the house. I also did a bit of creative output that served no particular purpose (just for me). I think, I am at my best when I’m only entertaining myself…and an audience stumbles upon me.

On Monday I got to visit a TWILIGHT TALES open mic and see sum writing chums and read some short fiction (which they seemed to like) and, more importantly, to get into a discussion on the philopshy and methodology of creating couples’ sex bordgames.

Also, an audio horror short fiction podcast I like to listen to, PSEUDOPOD, has purchased my story, "Blood, Snow, and Sparrows". I just sent in the contract earlier this week. That means that, sometimes in the near future, they will record an audio reading of my story and broadcast it on their podcast, meaning you can download it to your little iPods, meaning my story can be fed into your digitially via the ears, meaning I’ll be sitting between your ears and in your heads…

I’m a huge fan of audio fiction and am very excited to hear it.

Oh and here’s a moment of zen:

If you need a way out, just look for a hole, shaped like my silhouette in the wall of the Real World

01 Monday Oct 2007

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

medieval times, pseudopod, ray bradbury, silent bob, something wicked this way comes, the red lion pub, volo bog, white hen

Why Can’t Ahab Hunt the White Hen?

Gotta get out of this job.

I wish the White Hen building would sprout giant chicken legs and run away like a Russian fairy tale.

I dislike most every inch of it.  I hate working 50+ hours a week, just to barely make my minimum loan payments.  I hate being at the mercy of every creep and looser that comes out of Island Lake’s cracks in the wee hours (and there are a lot of cracks…oh there are some nice late night misfits, and we can smell our own, but there are plenty of carbon based life forms I could do without on this gig).  Stories of what happened to other night shift people who got robbed at many of the surrounding White Hen’s doesn’t help (I suppose I’m lucky the cops visit mine so regularly).  But even worse than that…I’ve been missing out on a lot lately—had to skip out early on a good friend’s wedding reception—missed the double feature of Psycho and The Birds at the outdoor theater—and tonight is the last meeting of Twilight Tales at The Red Lion Pub…and I’m missing it.



The Red Lion, a building with a lot of ghosts, a lot of memories, built in 1880, and chalked full of creaky, precarious charm, is receiving renovations…but not just renovations…they’re tearing up the whole building and rebuilding it from the ground up.  I know the Red Lion will be back…I know I’ll still get to read at Twilight Tales (they’re temporarily moving to another location)…but I’ll miss the old Red Lion.  I spend enough time in safe, modern buildings…I want to drink rum and beer and read ghost stories in a place that speaks and creaks, under the beer garden tree, over a congress of very large, and by now very literary, rats.

Bah.

Medieval Times

As far as I can tell, the Medieval Times gig did not pan out.  My little sister got a call back over a week ago and will be doing further auditions…but I haven’t heard anything.

Alas…and all that.

However, breath expended to cheer me up would be better spent wishing my little sis luck.

Auxiliary Escape Pods

I’m sure there must be another way to escape this White Hen.  The problem is it sucks up so much of my time…it’s hard to take the time to make the escape—this convenience store is like a nasty, self-fulfilling prophecy…one that sells tasty sandwiches and burnt coffee.

I’m applying, near every day, for various teaching, tutoring, and writing type positions.  Haven’t heard anything back yet.

Hyena In My Throat
White Hen did afford me a moment of amusement.  I was working, per usual, when a couple of college-age guys came in the convenience store.  They made their purchase, looked at me, did a double take, and one of them said:

“Dude.  Dude!  OK.  I’ve got two questions.  First, have you ever seen the movie, Clerks?  And—”

“Yes,” I interrupted, “And I know what the second question is, and yes.”

“Dude!”

I then gave them an abbreviated story of the Halloweens and events that Nick and I went as Jay and Silent Bob—how we won several hundred dollars at a costume contest and how dressing like the duo even got us on stage with Jenna Jameson once upon a time.  They were impressed, thanked me, and took their purchases and were about to leave…when the guy who spoke up originally suddenly stiffened.  I could almost hear the gears turning and saw the light bulb over the head flicker precariously, the wattage far exceeding the fortitude of the filament.  He was in the throes of an epiphany.  He turned around, came back and delivered it unto me…

“Dude, do you not find it ironic that someone who looks like Silent Bob now works as a . . . . clerk?”

Sometimes, despite ourselves, we laugh.  Hard.

Autumn Rituals

I’ve developed a ritual of sorts, over the last two weeks.

By the end of a graveyard shift at the Hen, my back and feet hurt.  A lot.  I’m more of a shower person…but I’ve started soaking in the tub after most shifts.  But with so little spare time…I hate to waste it…I wanted to validate it somehow.  Absorbing stories is enough validation for my time so I started bringing the I-Pod with me.  I soak in lava hot water, turn the lights out, and sit in sense deprivation, in a warm womb of audio fiction via the head-phones.

Mostly, I listen to free podcast horror fiction at Pseudopod.

In the dark of Sunday morning, not feeling like drawing a bath, I felt like something different, to celebrate the coming of my one day off and October (or rather, October’s Eve).  I grabbed my coat and fedora to keep warm, sat in the back yard, and smoked rum-dipped cigarillos, and listened to some of Ray Bradbury’s Something Wicked this Way Comes (a quintessential October story) and stared into the forest until it stared back…or the sun rose…

I don’t remember which happened first.

Ghost Stories at the Bog
I’ll make another post on this, with more details, tomorrow—but on Saturday, October 13th, there will be professional storytellers telling ghost tales at Volo Bog.  It’s a very fun event.  I’ll likely be going and I’ll likely make reservations come Thursday.  If you want to come, let me know, and I’ll reserve a spot.

Boo

Become a Patron

A weird story every month and a backstage look at my writing.

Recent Posts

  • Madness, Tentacles, & Vampire Dating Apps
  • Tabletop Tuesday: The Power of Trinkets –or– Dude, that’s your Dobby sock!
  • Table Top Tuesday: Party Assembled!
  • Bugs n’ Stuff
  • A Storyteller in Your Court

Archives

Quoth the Joshua, “Tweet!”

  • It’s all the horror writing. I rarely have nightmares. That part of my brain is EXHAUSTED. twitter.com/horrorhammer1/… :: 2 hours ago
  • RT @DougJBalloon: In this Ohio diner, it was a tradition: big cup of Folgers, eggs and sausage, then everyone calls their lawyer to send hu… :: 2 hours ago
  • This hangs over my bath. twitter.com/solisolsoli/st… :: 3 hours ago
  • RT @UpToTASK: I need this sticker. https://t.co/u0HpOocQ0U :: 3 hours ago
  • RT @HorrorHammer1: Vincent Price in 'The Masque of the Red Death' (1964) https://t.co/29iHmZPqYQ :: 3 hours ago

Magic Word Cloud

absinthe age of conan anthology autumn birthday blood snow and sparrows book of dead things cafe aeon cats christmas college cosmic horror Cthulhu dad dreams facebook flash fiction funcom game writing gaming GenCon H.P. Lovecraft halloween horradorable James Lowder Joshua Alan Doetsch lenore lovecraft magic Mark Doetsch medieval times memories micro-fiction misfits montreal music musings neil gaiman nick nostalgia novel Onyx Path Poe pseudopod Raven ray bradbury readings red lion pub reese scrivnomancer signings simon meeks slip n' slide Sparrow & Crowe strangeness in the proportion the secret world toe tags twilight tales twitter Vampire Vampire: the Masquerade Vampire: the Requiem vampires video video game writing voice acting volo bog weird fiction weird romance white hen white wolf white wolf novel World of Darkness writing writing lessons

RSS Links

RSS Feed RSS - Posts

RSS Feed RSS - Comments

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

  • Follow Following
    • Joshua Alan Doetsch
    • Join 521 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Joshua Alan Doetsch
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar