I’m at a cross roads, and I’m afraid of stepping on something vital. I’m at that point with my girlfriend where I either got to take a giant leap forward, or break away. She knows exactly what she wants, and doesn’t think she’d be as happy without it. What I want is still a mystery, but I’ve left her waiting long enough. There’s a little line drawn between what she wants most out of life . . . and what she fears most. I control where the ball lies.

I’m terrified of hurting her. She deserves better. I don’t want the choice. I don’t want that kind of power over someone’s happiness. Indecision may or may not be my problem.

It is a truly sad and somber night in Joshland . . . and that doesn’t happen all that often.