• Blog
  • About Joshua
  • Written Works
  • Reviews

Joshua Alan Doetsch

~ Author & Scrivnomancer

Joshua Alan Doetsch

Tag Archives: horradorable

Twisted Fairytwitters

22 Thursday Sep 2011

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

fairy tales, goblins, halloween, hicory dickory dock, horradorable, micro-fiction, nursery rhymes, peter piper, pickled punks, princes and the frog, princess, pumpkin patch, pumpkins, red riding hood, the big bad wolf, twitter fiction, witches

I like twitter fiction. It’s a good exercise for packing in lots of story in tight spaces (which is important at my job, writing video game dialogue in tiny boxes). Also, arbitrary restrictions are the mother-hubbard of creativity. Give me an infinite vacuum and my eyes dilate, and I float about the room with no purpose. Give me restrictions or complications and my creative problem-solving skills get primed. The itchy-itchy sand grain forms the pearl. Find an irritant, and it will make you write things you might not normally have written. A 120 character coffin to cram in is a nice irritant. Here are some bits of twitter fiction I’ve written, on the theme of fractured fairy tales, nursery rhymes, and the like:

  • The clock ate the mouse. Patient is the clock. Waiting is the clock. Churning gore greased gears. Hickory. Dickory. Dock.
  • Peter Piper picked a penny to pay to peek upon a pack of pickled punks and promptly puked at the presentation of misspent spunk.
  • “I swear my first born to thee.” The goblin trades me the glowing key. I then go to my second errand of the day: a vasectomy.
  • Little Dead Wolf-Head Hood walks to grandma’s house, stained axe in hand. Nobody calls her by her old name. Not anymore.
  • They gather once a year at the pumpkin patch, pick goblins in embryo, trade grimoire recipes and gourd-hatching tips. Then, fly away.
  • “Have to go or I’ll turn to a pumpkin,” she said. We laughed. Made out. Then she cried, rolling down the hill, leaving me alone. Again.
  • Wanted a prince. Kissed a frog. Transformation. Consummation. I can feel our thousand young grow under the mucous-slick of my new body.

Strangebook

06 Monday Jun 2011

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

facebook, horradorable, novel, strangeness in the proportion, white wolf

Looky, looky, lovelings!

There is now a Facebook page for my novel, Strangeness in the Proportion.

Take a peak. Hit the LIKE button. More fun stuff to come.

That’s My Novel And I’m Sticking To It

05 Tuesday Apr 2011

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

absinthe, autopsy, horradorable, Jane Doe, milestones, necrophile, novel, scalpel, simon meeks, strangeness in the proportion, white wolf, writing

Several weeks ago, I found myself editing a chapter of my book and yelling at a character. “You idiot!” I yelled. “Don’t do it!” But he did. He always does.

On a less pensive note, MY SERIALIZED NOVEL IS DONE! This is a project I have worked on (on and off) for well over six years, and is released by White Wolf Publishing.

The novel is called STRANGENESS IN THE PROPORTION. It is currently being discussed HERE. It will soon be sold as an ebook (and hopefully a print book as well). Right now you can read all 19 parts of it at the links bellow:

Strangeness in the Proportion, part 1

Strangeness in the Proportion, part 2
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 3
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 4
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 5
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 6
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 7
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 8
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 9
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 10
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 11
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 12
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 13
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 14
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 15
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 16
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 17
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 18
Strangeness in the Proportion, part 19

But What’s the Book About?

Well…

Synopsis #1 (provided by the narrator)
Would you like to hear a story?

This is a good one. And very short.

This is the story and the story goes: Simon meets Janie D. at work. She tells him who hurt her. She smiles. This is love. This is rigor mortis.

The end.

There is a longer story. The devils all lurk in the details.

Synopsis #2
Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets girl back…one piece at a time.

Synopsis #3
An absinthe addicted forensic pathologist (with a ghost tree full of undead ravens living inside his head) must enter a frightening, supernatural world to get his precious Jane Doe back.

Synopsis #4
Necrophiles need love too. They just have to dig down deep for it.

Synopsis #5 (a visual flow chart of the plot)


I’ll leave the book to speak for the rest.

That’s it. Milestone. With the novel done I’m doing things like sleeping again and responding to communications like, “Hey! Hey you! You can’t stand there!”

I also hope to get back to neglected things. Like this blog. Stay tuned.

Coventry Carol – through the Mythos lense

15 Thursday Jul 2010

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

coventry carol, Cthulhu, Fhtagn, horradorable, lovecraft, mythos, R'lyeh, songs, the King in Yellow


Lullay, Thou little tiny Child

Bye, bye, lulloo, lullay
And smile as dreaming, Little One
Bye, bye, lulloo, lullay
Sleep now, lulloo, lullay
Oh sister, too, what may we do
To preserve on this day
This sweet Youngling for whom we sing
Dream now, lulloo, lullay
Bye, bye, lulloo, lullayAnd when the stars align aright
In their far venture stay
Then smile as dreaming, Little One,
Sleep now, lulloo, lullay
Bye, bye, lulloo, lullay

Hastur the King, yellow raging
Set signs within his play
By his decree, insanity
All lucid thoughts to slay
All lucid thoughts to slay

Lullay, Thou little tiny Child
Bye, bye, lulloo, lullay
And smile and dream of stars that SCREAM
Bye, bye, lulloo, lullay
Sleep now, lulloo, lullay

Lullay, Thou little tiny Child
Bye, bye, lulloo, lullay
Dream now, lulloo, lullay
Dream now, ‘thoo-loo, ri-lay
Lullay, ‘thulhu, R’lyeh

Wgah’nagl fhtagn
Fhtagn, little one
Fhtagn!

For Mothers Day: the angst of no angst

09 Sunday May 2010

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

anti-angst, horradorable, mom, mothers day

So today is Mothers Day. I should talk about my Mom, but a picture is worth a thousand words, so this might save you about five minutes of reading right off the bat. My first literary criticism:

Me n’ Mom. And that’s pretty much been the state of our relationship ever since. Not even one moment of letdown or existential angst.

Really.

Unbelievable, right?

You think I’m not being candid and opening my soul, and showing you the jagged bits that lie just past the mask of small talk–some deeply buried bit of motherly disappointment. That’s what you’re thinking.

That’s what my mother has done to me. Between this lack of a tragic past and no suitable vice to speak of, my writing’s street cred is severely damaged. So thanks a lot, Mom! I can barely wear my dark clothing with a straight face. Can’t even pen a proper suicide-cry-for-help poem.

Was it too much to ask to have you let me down just one time? One time! Could you not find it in your heart to, just once, callously put your needs before mine–to not be there just one of the times I was sick or sad? Couldn’t you have, on occasion, barraged me with pessimism, plant even a single seed of doubt in my choices, lowered my expectations in myself just to be realistic and play it safe, or at the very, very least, take a little ambient anger out on me?

No?

Human beings are allowed lapses, moments of weakness, to occasionally hurt the ones they love. It happens all the time! But you…never. Seriously. You’re freaking ridiculous. If I wrote you as a character, I’d have to add a dark spot just so people would believe it—book reviewers would be like, “This mother character is a pleasant, if naive, notion…but could never happen in the real world.”

I mean, part of growing up is realizing your elders have flaws—and then being shocked by that—and then being scared by that—and then resenting that—and finally coming full circle and accepting that, and them, on a deepening level of understanding. But you! You just bat your eyes at that whole paradigm and transcend human frailty by maintaining a nigh divine, Platonic ideal of maternal perfection.

This one time, in a grad school writing class, I’m sitting at the table, comparing story notes, when the guy next to me shares some of the cathartic emotions he deals with, when writing, and tells us all about how his parents once OK’d an antidepressant medication that turned him into a numb robot, and they couldn’t be bothered to care enough to get it switched, so he lost an entire year of is impressionable, young life in a drug-clouded, emotionally-retarded haze, and he’s never been able to fully forgive them for that.

And what did I have to say?

“Uh…this one time…I skinned my knee.”

“And?”

“It hurt…”

“And?”

“I was scared…”

“And?”

“My Mom made me feel better, and loved, and centered, and confident in the knowledge that I was special and important for years and years to come.”

It was sooooooo embarrassing!

The closest thing I have to parental angst was growing up with the knowledge that all my friends thought of you as the “hot mom”.

Every single time I put pen to paper and delve into even the slightest bit of dark prose, I can feel the eyes of the world on me–whispering, smirking, saying, “What business does he have writing this?”

This is the hell that is my life.

So thanks again, Mom. Thanks for ruining me with happiness.

God!

What?

Oh…

Love you too.

Cleaning out bookmarked pages…

23 Sunday Aug 2009

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Amanda Palmer, black cab, creep, flash fiction, horradorable, micro-fiction, morbid fairy-tales, neil gaiman, radiohead, ray bradbury, robots, voodoo, voodoo soccer, zombie apocalypse, zombies, zombpocalypse

I’m not saying it’s going to happen. I’m just saying it wouldn’t hurt to be prepared…

Check out these morbid little takes on fairy-tales.
Are you a Ray Bradbury fan? Read this. Takes 30 seconds. One of my favorite mini-mini stories in a while.

Hmmm…so this is what would happen if Bjork had made I Robot.

I like the idea of people doing acoustic covers in the back of black cabs whilst they drive. And I liked this cover of “Creep” (it’s in fact the best acoustic cover of “Creep” played on a ukalali in the back of a black cab whilst it’s driving out there). I saved this before I knew of any connection between Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman (or even who Amanda Palmer was), so my opinion is unclouded…

Ever wonder what goes into the process of producing a book – from the words the author types to the delivery of bound, printed books? This is how it’s done. No…really…it is…


Voodoo wins soccer games.

Nightmare Before Halloween

21 Tuesday Oct 2008

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

3-D, halloween, horradorable, In-Between: A Halloween Poem, movie reviews, movies, October, October Country, ray bradbury, the nightmare before christmas, Tim Burton

I wrote this movie review last year, for a potential movie review gig. It’s about that time of the year again…so I thought I’d share:

“Attics are awful and lovely.
You Know what I mean?
Basements are low, dank, and darksome,
Halloween’s buried there . . .”

“. . . There the terror is pure.
There an All Hallows grave
Can save souls that might smother
From calm dad or sweet mother.”
—Ray Bradbury, “In-Between: A Halloween Poem”

Ray Bradbury is a storyteller who knows why Halloween, spooks, and frights are important—so is Tim Burton, and he beautifully illustrates the point in his mismatched holiday classic, The Nightmare Before Christmas, now re-released in theaters, for the second year, in 3D. Certainly, the denizens of Halloweentown know, singing, “Life’s no fun without a good scare.”

The story is simplistic, but the best fairytales are. Jack Skellington, the monarch of Halloween, grows bored with scares and screams and seeing the new challenges and excitement of Christmas, commands his subjects to help him take over the execution of that holiday. Not plot driven, Nightmare is a heady visual draught, a Halloween dream woven in images and moods. Roger Ebert praised the original release of the film, saying its creators “made a world here that is as completely new as the worlds we saw for the first time in such films as Metropolis, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari or Star Wars.” And indeed, the visuals are so unique that “Burtonesque” is now in the cinema lexicon. The new 3D element makes this phantasmal world even more immersive.

Burton has stated that inspiration came to him at a store changing out the Halloween merchandise for Christmas displays: the juxtaposition of ghouls and Santa—and the best images of the film are the ones mixing Christmas and Halloween, the delightful and the ghastly: a coffin shaped sleigh led by skeletal reindeer, Christmas lights strung about an electric chair, and in no other movie have I seen a character try and discover the true meaning of Christmas by dissecting a teddy bear.

This is what Burton does; he mixes horror and humor and somehow makes it innocent through his favorite medium, the misfit. These elements come together in one of my favorite scenes: Sally, an animated rag doll and secret admirer of Jack, prepares a gift basket for the Pumpkin King and makes ready to escape her abusive creator. Opening the window, she looks wistfully towards Jack’s house, then jumps, crashing several stories below, her body breaking into pieces. Then, just as wistfully, the way a lovesick teenager might pick petals off a lily, she sews herself back together and heads for Jack’s. It’s a neat bit of dialogue-free storytelling. In any other movie, this would have been a tragic scene—a teen suicide for unrequited love. Instead, Burton makes the scene sweet and he does so using the very element that makes it macabre: the fact that Sally is an undead doll that can put herself back together.

Forgiving the simple plot, I have only one complaint: at 76 minutes, I would have liked a little longer to further develop Jack and Sally’s relationship or maybe better develop the villain, Oogie Boogie. I would attribute the short runtime to the extensive and tedious process used to create the stop motion animation (a week’s worth of work reaped only a minute’s worth of film).

After 14 years, the film has aged well, looking dated neither technically nor in style. Actually, pop culture has caught up to its sardonic and subversive tones. For proof, note that the film was originally released under Touchstone Pictures (a division of Disney) for fear that it was too dark for children. In the 2006 3D release (as well as this year), The Nightmare Before Christmas was shown under the Disney banner. For further proof, walk into a Spencer’s or Hot Topic store—there is more Nightmare merchandise circulating than ever and a whole new generation of teenagers have made its cast of monsters into a misfit pantheon (with Jack Skellington at the head).

The media is faster and more fickle than ever. However we also live in a time when canceled TV shows and sleeper films can find a second life, resurrected by the necromancy of cult fans and DVD sales. People walk around with T-shirts featuring their favorite characters from 80s video games. Media fades, but iconic images endure, and Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas is teeming with them.

Newer posts →

Become a Patron

A weird story every month and a backstage look at my writing.

Recent Posts

  • Madness, Tentacles, & Vampire Dating Apps
  • Tabletop Tuesday: The Power of Trinkets –or– Dude, that’s your Dobby sock!
  • Table Top Tuesday: Party Assembled!
  • Bugs n’ Stuff
  • A Storyteller in Your Court

Archives

Quoth the Joshua, “Tweet!”

Tweets by JoshuaDoetsch

Magic Word Cloud

absinthe age of conan anthology autumn birthday blood snow and sparrows book of dead things cafe aeon cats christmas college cosmic horror Cthulhu dad dreams facebook flash fiction funcom game writing gaming GenCon H.P. Lovecraft halloween horradorable James Lowder Joshua Alan Doetsch lenore lovecraft magic Mark Doetsch medieval times memories micro-fiction misfits montreal music musings neil gaiman nick nostalgia novel Onyx Path Poe pseudopod Raven ray bradbury readings red lion pub reese scrivnomancer signings simon meeks slip n' slide Sparrow & Crowe strangeness in the proportion the secret world toe tags twilight tales twitter Vampire Vampire: the Masquerade Vampire: the Requiem vampires video video game writing voice acting volo bog weird fiction weird romance white hen white wolf white wolf novel World of Darkness writing writing lessons

RSS Links

RSS Feed RSS - Posts

RSS Feed RSS - Comments

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Joshua Alan Doetsch
    • Join 523 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Joshua Alan Doetsch
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...