I cruised frigid roads that frowned in the cold, looking for a place to buy Torrie a toilet bowl lid and seat (you know…a normal Tuesday night), thinking. Wil met a student who had transferred from UIS to Eureka. He asked if she knew me, describing me. Apparently she did know me by sight…and apparently I frightened her (she worked late nights at the library and my late night wandering apparently made her feel ill at ease). I thought about this. I pondered it and my copious history of tickets (my name is probably an oft noted footnote in the annals of Central Illinois police lore). And that’s when I saw the answer to it all – the reason for the tickets and scaring folk. It’s all so clear…

The asshole who makes the neighborhood watch signs keeps putting my likeness up. See…

Every where you go…

No matter where you turn…

There I am, with a big line through me. It’d be nice if just one neighborhood had my picture on a sign that said WELCOME. Is that too much to ask? They’re running a smear campaign against me or something. I think I need to write a letter to neighborhood watch. The problem is…that’s an organization that only exists on a sign.