I’m drinking ants. It’s come to this. I’m ingesting ants and they have protein. I found them crawling into my water. Given the low lighting of my room and the amount of water I gulp down when I work…I have no idea how many of the little bastards I’ve ingested. I should be disgusted…but it makes me smile.
Last night, my computer crashed. Suddenly, it disavowed any knowledge of Windows…as if it was just dumped – along with, well, my LIFE! At that point, it seemed as though it might be slightly easier to start a new career than it would be to repair the damages and retrace the lost work.
I was angry. Real angry. Fifteen syllable swear words that have never been spoken by mortal tongues, angry. Pissed off enough to piss barbed wire and spit acid. Angry enough to eat a cute puppy. Mad enough to tear out the nice, congenial part of myself, from my psyche, just so I could beat the ever loving shit out of it and call it a “sissy” while it bleeds and sobs on the pavement. Angry.
So when running time came at 5:15 am…I needed some catharsis if I was going to sleep that day (that is…this day). We ran for our longest interval yet – 15 minutes. Our runs are usually much longer than that…but they are split in intervals of walking and running. We did it. There was some feeling of accomplishment. But it wasn’t enough. Still had steam. So, when I drove back, to the dorm…I got out of my car and ran to the lake and back (another few miles). It worked.
But then, surprise, I gave the computer one final crack before going to sleep. I could not get the reboot disk to do its function…but then, while it was screwing up even worse…Windows magically came on…even though it was addled and slow. I took the opportunity to back up all my work quick..and then set about fixing any possible problems that might have caused all this. It seems to be working…for now.
Anger = exercise.