- The colour of Joshua Alan Doetsch is no indication of his spiciness, but size usually is!
- The ace of spades in a playing card deck symbolizes Joshua Alan Doetsch.
- The Eskimos have over fifty words for Joshua Alan Doetsch.
- Forty percent of the world’s almonds and twenty percent of the world’s peanuts are used in the manufacture of Joshua Alan Doetsch!
- If you blow out all the candles on Joshua Alan Doetsch with one breath, your wish will come true.
- If Joshua Alan Doetsch was life size, he would stand 7 ft 2 inches tall and have a neck twice the size of a human.
- Joshua Alan Doetsch became extinct in England in 1486.
- Every day in the UK, four people die putting Joshua Alan Doetsch on.
- Joshua Alan Doetsch can usually be found in nests built in the webs of large spiders!
- It’s bad luck to put Joshua Alan Doetsch on a bed.
1. …I’d make lewd comments about this one…but that’d be too easy
2. My favorite card.
3. And, by strange coincidence, each of the words is spelled exactly the same.
4. What can I say…I’m mostly nuts.
5. …this sounds kinky…
6. This is true, I was 7ft 2 inches tall in high school, when I was on the basketball team…now, unfortunately, I am not life size.
7. This was due mostly to poaching.
8. I’m trying to cut back to three Brits a day…
9. Yeah, I climb around in the nests of spiders late at night…but…all things considered, given everything you know about me…does this really surprise you?
10. Of course, if this one is true, we can inversely say that I’m good luck in more unorthodox places 😉