Hey all.
I need a literary opinion or two. Read the short below (it’s very short) and tell me which of the two quotes you’d rather see at the top (or no quote). One is Shakespeare and the other is The Smashing Pumpkins. Keep in mind that this is part of a book that mixes culture and pop culture references with little care, so I’ve had both types of quotes before and after this chapter – thus I don’t need the choice doesn’t need to be based either on my looking for literary merit (the Shakespeare quote) or fresh, youthful lyrics (the pumpkins) as I have both in other portions of the book. Choose strictly on content (or vote for no quote…sometimes they gum up the works).
Interlude: Picture Game
“Good wombs have borne bad sons.”
-Shakespeare, The Tempest, I.ii 119
“The killer in me is the killer in you.”
-The Smashing Pumpkins, “Disarm”
“Pick out the serial killer,” said the FBI Profiling Professor. “Which of these things doesn’t belong here?”
Eager students examined the old, black and white photograph with the pensive, intense looks they thought suitable for a master investigator.
Three children from years ago: a boy, a girl, an infant.
Boy.
Girl.
Infant.
They examined the toys, the expressions, the close, looking for the shadow threads that connected the puzzle in grotesque lines and clinical symmetry.
“Which one of these children grew up to be a killer?”
Boy.
Girl.
Infant.
“I . . . I can’t tell,” said a student, breaking under the teacher’s weighty gaze.
“That’s right, you can’t tell.”
Joshua Alan Doetsch 
I think the Smashing Pumpkins quote seems to go along better with the story, although either one would work. It makes me feel like anyone could be the killer, even the student or professor.
I think you are right on that point.
I think you are right on that point.
I think the Smashing Pumpkins quote seems to go along better with the story, although either one would work. It makes me feel like anyone could be the killer, even the student or professor.
It’s a tough call. I like the pumpkins, though, I think. It just seems to work with the idea that you can’t tell, the potential may be there in everyone. Good exerpt, too, BTW.
It’s a tough call. I like the pumpkins, though, I think. It just seems to work with the idea that you can’t tell, the potential may be there in everyone. Good exerpt, too, BTW.
I like the idea for having a quote before the passage…but the pumpkins one doesn’t really do it for me. the shakespeare doesn’t really do it either. i think they are both good quotes, i just can’t see either of them setting the mood that i see in your segment here.
I like the idea for having a quote before the passage…but the pumpkins one doesn’t really do it for me. the shakespeare doesn’t really do it either. i think they are both good quotes, i just can’t see either of them setting the mood that i see in your segment here.
I like the Smashing Pumpkins one better.
I like the Smashing Pumpkins one better.
While I think that Billy Corgan is all kinds of awesome, I have to say that I really don’t think either of those quotes fit in that spot. I would say look for another, as it definitely feels like something is missing without one.
Oops, forgot that I’m not logged in on this computer. It’s Jesse, you know, the Canadian…
Oops, forgot that I’m not logged in on this computer. It’s Jesse, you know, the Canadian…
While I think that Billy Corgan is all kinds of awesome, I have to say that I really don’t think either of those quotes fit in that spot. I would say look for another, as it definitely feels like something is missing without one.
as much as i adore Shakespeare…
use the pumpkins. It works.
as much as i adore Shakespeare…
use the pumpkins. It works.
Pumpkins. And as stupid as it might sound the use of the word “sons” in the Shakespeare (although I know it means “everyone”) leads me to think that you might lead the reader to think it was the boy. The pumpkins is more gender neutral, adding to that “it could be anyone” bit.
Oh, and a side note – being in my final stage of pregnancy and about to burst, reading this segment kind of scared the crap out of me… good job, I think.
Woops…sorry…
I forgot to put the pregnancy warning on my work.
Woops…sorry…
I forgot to put the pregnancy warning on my work.
Pumpkins. And as stupid as it might sound the use of the word “sons” in the Shakespeare (although I know it means “everyone”) leads me to think that you might lead the reader to think it was the boy. The pumpkins is more gender neutral, adding to that “it could be anyone” bit.
Oh, and a side note – being in my final stage of pregnancy and about to burst, reading this segment kind of scared the crap out of me… good job, I think.
My professional (heh) opinion: I don’t like either for this passage, and here’s why. 1 just doesn’t quite fit right. 2 is too pop culture – too well known. It’s distracting. I don’t have a better suggestion, but that’s what I think… But I like the short.
My professional (heh) opinion: I don’t like either for this passage, and here’s why. 1 just doesn’t quite fit right. 2 is too pop culture – too well known. It’s distracting. I don’t have a better suggestion, but that’s what I think… But I like the short.
Am I too late to opinonate? Is that even a word?
Without reading anyone else’s comments (don’t want them to influence me), I’d have to say the Shakespeare quote. I think it ties in without being too obvious. The other quote bothered me with the redundancy of the word killer (it’s in the quote twice and then again in your first sentance).
That’s my opinion anyway…
I read the passage and the quotes and thought…Shakespeare all the way…then I was reading the comments and thought….am I really the only one?? Thanks Jeramie, for thinking of the Bard…I’m not alone!! 🙂
I actually surprised myself by not choosing Shakespeare, especially since I only listen to country and probably couldn’t name one Smashing Pumpkins song. I’m a disappointment to English teachers everywhere.
I actually surprised myself by not choosing Shakespeare, especially since I only listen to country and probably couldn’t name one Smashing Pumpkins song. I’m a disappointment to English teachers everywhere.
I read the passage and the quotes and thought…Shakespeare all the way…then I was reading the comments and thought….am I really the only one?? Thanks Jeramie, for thinking of the Bard…I’m not alone!! 🙂
Am I too late to opinonate? Is that even a word?
Without reading anyone else’s comments (don’t want them to influence me), I’d have to say the Shakespeare quote. I think it ties in without being too obvious. The other quote bothered me with the redundancy of the word killer (it’s in the quote twice and then again in your first sentance).
That’s my opinion anyway…