It’s alive…it’s alive!!!
Apparently my knee (wounded in a grievous sledding accident months ago) is finally started knitting itself back together. I’ve been able to go out running the last two nights in a row…with nary a wet crunch or a scream of agony.
Running feels good…
…no…
…running (after all this time) feels horrible…
…but then it feels good.
Monday’s open mic reading at Twilight Tales went well. I had a lot of visitors, including Wil and Val and Kristi and Jason and Todd and more besides. I’m really loving the live reading. I think I done durn good too . . . as the author in charge of Twilight Tales, Tina Jens, asked to see a copy of the story (“Blood, Snow, and Sparrows”). I think it’s just about ready to submit somewhere.
The Monday before last’s Twilight Tales featured their annual “Red Light Night” which featured love stories, tales of an amorous nature, erotica, erotic horror…and all points between and up and down. There were some strange stories told…and some disturbing ones. Between stories, the MCs took and read pages from a romantic encounter/sex book for couples (each page opening to reveal a different game or scenario or scene for a couple to enact). It got a lot of laughs from the audience, myself included . . . until the fateful moment . . . when . . . they . . . revealed . . . the . . . cover . . .
. . .
. . . (I get tax write-offs for using ellipses…in case you’re wondering)
I recognized that book cover. I’d seen that book cover. I’d seen that book cover on my parents book shelf. AHHHH!!! Suddenly every page/game/scenario took on visualizations of the most horrific nature. I mean…on one hand I’m thinking, “Way to go Mom and Dad.” On the other . . .
. . . I don’t want to talk about it.
In news that I won’t shut away as a repressed memory, the UIS library wants me to come down to Springfield and get photographed so that I might be the “celebrity” on a new set of READ posters. They want to start a tradition of honoring the Outstanding Thesis winners this way. I get to be the first. I’m quite tickled.
Now I know they’ll want to take their own photos and design their own posters and such…but I’ve already come up with a prototype:
Hey Kids!
Joshua says:
“Read a book…
…OR I’LL GNAW ON YOUR IMMORTAL SOULS!”
What do you think, America? Be honest.
And as a final bit of business, I’ve gotten some unfortunate complaints about using Hypno-Toad as my spokesperson, messenger, and well . . . mass manipulator of my audience. I care what you folks think and I’ve retired Hypno-Toad (actually his remains have been ground up, samples of it strategically placed in several packaging plants, for the next peanut butter recall scare). The frightening, controlling presence of Hypno-Toad has been replaced with a more congenial personality, one that families across this great nation have all come to trust implicitly. None other than movie star Wilford Brimley, that wholesome presence, that star of such movies as Cocoon, The Thing, The Firm – not to mention Quaker Oatmeal and those Liberty Medical commercials.
Mr. Brimley, do you have anything you’d like to say to the nice people?
Joshua Alan Doetsch 
i think your poster would work best in kindergarten class rooms.
i didnt have a problem with hypno-toad.
new guy is creepy too.
Yeah…I was picturing kindergarten classrooms and crying children too.
j_harker said:
i think your poster would work best in kindergarten class rooms.
i didnt have a problem with hypno-toad.
new guy is creepy too.
Josh, you crack up my shit.
We of the sick sensees of humor and the diseased imaginations must stick together.
farmkingdude85 said:
Josh, you crack up my shit.
I already miss Hypno-Toad…
It is indeed a strange and disturbing universe…and I don’t think we’ve seen the last of hypno-toad. In fact, I’m feeling a Hypno-Toad vs. Wilford Brimley Flash-animation coming on…
That would quite possible be the greatest thing ever.
Good.
Additional question: anything from White Wolf?
Another additional question: When are you going to move out here to help me with my screenplay? I’m also going to need a cameraman for some of the shorts I plan on making soon too. Plus people to be in them.
lacubsfan said:
I already miss Hypno-Toad…
I don’t know which I love more, the READ poster prototype or the Brimley Diabeetus poster…well, probably the second because it bugs the shit outta me.
To be fair…I didn’t create the second one, I found it. But I must show it to the world.
Right, I understand. Whoever created it is a genius, and you are a genius for sharing it my friend.
sarabeth985 said:
I don’t know which I love more, the READ poster prototype or the Brimley Diabeetus poster…well, probably the second because it bugs the shit outta me.
Diabeetus! I just ROFL’d.
Hehe…yeah…that picture got a similar reaction out of me when I found it.
desert_fox said:
Diabeetus! I just ROFL’d.
I just clicked the link about Brimley. Crazy cockfighting advocate.
Hey…the cocks want to fight. It’s what they need. By not allowing it to happen, we are only holding them back, forcing them under our ideals…and ultimately showing cruelty towards them and disrespect towards their animal culture.
A cock’s gotta fight.
Best to just let them free . . . strap on the razor spurs . . . and commence the betting.
That’s what I’ve been saying for years. Strap a razor to your cock and let it free.
Wait…
You say this almost as though you’ve tried it, Rich.
genenda said:
I just clicked the link about Brimley. Crazy cockfighting advocate.
nevermore_66 said:
Hey…the cocks want to fight. It’s what they need. By not allowing it to happen, we are only holding them back, forcing them under our ideals…and ultimately showing cruelty towards them and disrespect towards their animal culture.
A cock’s gotta fight.
Best to just let them free . . . strap on the razor spurs . . . and commence the betting.
nevermore_66 said:
Hehe…yeah…that picture got a similar reaction out of me when I found it.
nevermore_66 said:
To be fair…I didn’t create the second one, I found it. But I must show it to the world.
nevermore_66 said:
It is indeed a strange and disturbing universe…and I don’t think we’ve seen the last of hypno-toad. In fact, I’m feeling a Hypno-Toad vs. Wilford Brimley Flash-animation coming on…
nevermore_66 said:
We of the sick sensees of humor and the diseased imaginations must stick together.
nevermore_66 said:
Yeah…I was picturing kindergarten classrooms and crying children too.
sarabeth985 said:
Right, I understand. Whoever created it is a genius, and you are a genius for sharing it my friend.
sarabeth985 said:
That would quite possible be the greatest thing ever.
lacubsfan said:
That’s what I’ve been saying for years. Strap a razor to your cock and let it free.
Wait…
lacubsfan said:
Good.
Additional question: anything from White Wolf?
Another additional question: When are you going to move out here to help me with my screenplay? I’m also going to need a cameraman for some of the shorts I plan on making soon too. Plus people to be in them.
genenda said:
You say this almost as though you’ve tried it, Rich.
So, is your knee well enough for dancing? I’m short a date for DZ formal and wondered if you’d be interested…
Sure thing. My knee was actually just asking me about dancing. When is the formal?
It’s Friday, March 30 here on campus, actually. It’ll be in the Terrill Rooms. I’ll even take you out to dinner.
Well all right. It’s a date.
Yay!! I have a date!! I’ll get you more information later…you know, when I get more information myself.
purplejoy716 said:
So, is your knee well enough for dancing? I’m short a date for DZ formal and wondered if you’d be interested…
nevermore_66 said:
Sure thing. My knee was actually just asking me about dancing. When is the formal?
purplejoy716 said:
It’s Friday, March 30 here on campus, actually. It’ll be in the Terrill Rooms. I’ll even take you out to dinner.
nevermore_66 said:
Well all right. It’s a date.
purplejoy716 said:
Yay!! I have a date!! I’ll get you more information later…you know, when I get more information myself.