Phew, for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself
—Radiohead, “Karma Police”
Been gone a while.
No posts, no clever-cute-cute-too-too-clever-oh-so-cleverness.
I finished the novel draft, the White Wolf, World of Darkness novel: Strangeness in the Proportion.
I had thought that upon completion I would type up a giant, celebratory post full of exclamation points, minutes after finishing the last sentence, finger leaving the period and shift key, shaking, supercharged and twisted on an accomplishment high. The truth is that I finished the thing and sent it all in about a week ago and I pretty much crashed…napping and napping and daydreaming and barely touching my keyboard or phone for several days—too burnt out on the subject to even talk about it (all the ghoulish details of cadaverous love and whether or not it works in this draft…the ghost tree that grows, upside down in the protagonist’s head and how it’s full of wise-cracking wraith crows and how that all came about out of nowhere in this draft…and such…).
I also wanted to give a more detailed description of what went on in the process of this draft…but I’m pretty wiped and would rather just move forward. Long story short, it was a learning experience, a book length plot. It took too long—I worked too long on this draft, and my momentum left me before I got to the end. I definitely have a better idea of how to handle a draft of a novel, but it was learned the hard way. Some things worked. Some might not. Some I could not tell by the end because I’d been too close to the material for too long. I went through a few writer highs…but the end was very challenging…I went through many spells of feeling useless, small, talentless, and “should I even be a writer?” type of drivel (I’ll spare you all the particulars).
I think the motifs of the piece: absinthe, scalpels, silent films, cards, eccentric romance…I think those work better this time around.
If I owe anyone emails or answers to internet surveys or kidneys or pints of blood, I do apologize. The last month or two I’ve been hermetically sealed away. I’m out now. I’m catching up.
In two or three weeks, I’ll hear back from the editor. And I’ll look at the book and comments with, hopefully, fresh eyes.
Right now I’m recharging.
How are all of you lovelings?