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Joshua Alan Doetsch

~ Author & Scrivnomancer

Joshua Alan Doetsch

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what am I reading? . . . words . . . words . . . words

29 Monday Jan 2007

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

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I’m watching High Fidelity and I’m fretting over the loose playlist of chapters from my book I’m going to read at Twilight Tales tomorrow night.  I’m taking too long.  It shouldn’t be so hard.  Hmmmm . . .

 

Also, looking back at the chapters, I can already see passages I want to change or cut in the next draft.  That’s not a bad thing and this post isn’t a desperate drop of self-esteem.  It might be a good thing – might mean I’ve somehow stumbled into being a better writer in the time I’ve been away from this work.  But, more probably, it’s for the same reason that it’s good to put a completed draft down for a while before attempting a rewrite: the words and oh-so-clever passages aren’t as sensitive to the touch anymore; they aren’t my babies anymore; and I feel a little less guilt in putting some of my lovelies in a burlap sack and drowning them.

 

I want to wander around the streets of Chicago with John Cusack, comparing satchels and lists of top five songs to listen to while writing an epic poem.

Tales by Twilight

27 Saturday Jan 2007

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Come listen to some stories and sentences with ghosts hiding betwixt the words . . .

Hello one and all. Just a reminder, I’ll be a featured reader at the next TWILIGHT TALES gathering:

-Janurary 29th (Monday) at 7:30 pm.

-At THE RED LION PUB in Chicago (2446 North Lincoln Avenue).

I’ll be reading from my epic poem, SOULS UNSURE as well as some of my short stories. So come listen to some freaky fiction (all in the confines of a kick-ass, reputedly haunted pub no less). I’ll even do a magic trick for you if you show up.

Is that my ego in my pocket or…

24 Wednesday Jan 2007

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Do not adjust your computer monitors…

 

…mI spelin is indead badd.

 

First off, an apology to any of your carbon based life forms that I’ve interacted with in say, the last two or more weeks, if I’ve seemed kind of distant, out of it, quiet, or non-stimulating in conversation or interaction.  I’ve been experimenting, with mixed success to take a little more control of my sleep cycle and combat some of the worst of my insomnia…and the ensuing battle has left me, at times, a bit zombified.

 

MONDAY fairly rocked.  I was down in Springfield, at UIS, for the awards ceremony for the Outstanding Graduate Thesis (of which, my book, Souls Unsure won).  It was a pretty big to-do.  I thought there would be more involved and more awards…but the other departments passed out the certificates quickly and then they got to me and Nancy Perkins gave a whole speech about me and my book and then I got to get up, say a few words, and read the Prologue to the audience.

 

I was glad I was able to do this…I like dramatic readings more than giving speeches and they all seemed pretty rapt with my words.  Lots of compliments from friends and strangers and college big wigs.  I could tell my Dad was pretty blown away by it all.

 

Now to get the book published, get rich, and get my creditors off my back…

 

But the literary fun doesn’t end there, oh no my lovelings:

 

This coming Monday (the 29th) I’ll be at the Red Lion Pub as a featured reader for a Twilight Tales.  I’ll likely read a bit from Souls Unsure as well other bits of fiction.  So come one come all…apparently I’m pretty good at live readings, and it’ll serve me well to come in with a strong showing and a large audience.  The fun starts at 7:30.

 

What else…

 

…I finished Secret Project X, a short story Christmas gift to Torrie, and she seems pretty thrilled with it…

 

…I still want to bang out a treatment and proposal for a comic book idea I have…

 

…I need to get my website up and running…

 

…American Idol is evil…

 

…most shows that don’t involve a writer are…

 

…that last statement might have a slight bias…

 

…I want to date a woman with blue skin and glowing eyes…

 

…I really wish I had a hard copy of the speech Nancy gave about me, as it made me sound very important and smart.  However…I did go a bit like her original proposal, of me, to the committee: 

 

Memorandum

 

To:       Provost Harry Berman and Members of the University of Illinois at Springfield’s            Outstanding Thesis Selection Committee

 

From:   Nancy Genevieve Perkins, Associate Professor of English, Representing the English       Program

 

Date:    1 October 2006

 

Re:       English Program Nominates Joshua Alan Doetsch’s Master’s Creative Writing Closure Project Souls Unsure: A Dark Epic in Prose and Poetry for UIS’ Outstanding Thesis

 

Joshua Alan Doetsch’s Creative Writing Closure Project combines epic poetry with brief interludes of stand-alone fiction. The poetry intertwines classical literary allusions with Native American, Caribbean, Latin American, African, and Creole-American literatures as well as contemporary street slang, music, movies, and other pop culture.  The plot traces the universal theme of good verses evil through the sinewy streets of New Orleans to the shadowy regions of Sheol, and the temporal setting pre-dates time itself interwoven with the moment of now. 

 

The epic poem began in Dr. Marcellus Leonard’s Long Poem course with a twenty-page tale spun from the wondering conscience of what happened back then: back in the dawn of time in the Judeo–Christian history of the War in Heaven, which resulted in good and evil, good angels and bad angels.  Were all angels such?  Or did some get caught between such warring forces, and if so, what happened to them?  Where are they now?  Dante wrote in The Inferno, III 30-37, “This is the sorrowful state of souls unsure./ Whose lives earned neither honor nor bad fame” (Book II, Coda 91). 

 

One of the three primary characters/voices of this epic tale, which is written in the form of a drama script, is one of these not fallen, not soaring, angels.  Josh named him Syth.  Syth is allusional, of course, to Seth, the third child of Adam, of Eve, of promise, of curse.  The Biblical Seth neither soared nor plummeted; he was neither the Promise of Abel nor the Curse of Cain; he simply was, and is, the between of all that is and of all that could be.  He is the best and worst of the modern Everyone.  Josh’s Syth is true to the prototype of Seth; he is neither good nor evil; neither black nor white but ashen and usually seen in shadow forms; he has a broken crystal voice which he uses only in whispers and sparingly because his voice reminds him of the best of what could have been, a voice in The Celestial Choir; he has broken wings, which allow him to move from world to world but without grace.  And Josh gives him a broken spirit—bound to his broken body with barbed wire, it longs to rest, to be quiet, to join the unfeeling of uninvolvement.  The opening Interlude, however, tells of the screams of a pure child, and those screams transverse this modern world to the nether world, beyond knowledge of time and space, and touch this broken spirit, and Syth intervenes in her misery, stopping the unnatural predatoring by her own father.  This action, this pure action, evokes the tortured souls in the nether regions of nightmares and Danté’s Hell to blister the readers’ minds and to taunt these minds with memory’s silent screams, and punish Syth for daring to feel.

 

                                                                                                              Outstanding Thesis Doetsch 2

 

Syth’s odyssey to find the child follows “the trail of broken doll parts”; he is chasing “the silent scream,” seeking Hope, “a youngling shade” (186) who may have had her spirit crushed by a life where prayers were not answered and evil allowed to continue for too long.  This hero/antihero gives all that he can, all that he has left, to save the spirit of the child whose body he saved. 

 

Syth’s journeys, his quests, are chronicled by Crow, the winged Trickster, to the voodoo Street Priestess, Mama Nancy.  Crow admits he is not to be trusted, and all readers of Native American literature know that his words can slide and twist the truth.  The voodoo priestess cannot travel to the nether worlds; she is bound to time and place, but she can, and does, evoke the spirits of power in the other worlds, Papa Ghede, Saint Gerard, Saint Patrick, the Virgin Mother, among many others.  But to know of Syth, to learn of his identity and of his journey, she must barter with Crow to be her eyes in places and in times she cannot go.  The irony of her bartering is that all Crow will accept to do her bidding are her eyes; he responds to her question of “why would wily Crow want the eyes/ of this poor, poor woman?” (24) with “Isn’t it obvious/Miss Too-Clever-For-Her-Own-Good?/ I don’t know/ what it is to have life in my belly,/ to pay bills,/ to grow old,/ one day at a time./ And you are loved and you are feared,/ and I want to see from your side of the divide” (25).

 

This unlikely trilogy of darkness, what Josh calls “Three archetype tarot cards of the soul” (xvi) illuminates the modern world while diving into the realm of the unspeakable.  These are like all of the dark corners that modern people avoid and constrain in the unspeakable; the tale’s words, images, and deeds focus the readers’ attentions, tap into emotions, and shine the light of language in the darkest of corners.  The Interludes paint this modern world in vignettes, emotions carried by all lost souls, and in the daily lives of those no one brags about doing activities best left unspoken.  Yet, the readers recognize shards of the self in these characters, and so laugh and so cry. 

 

One of these Interludes, “Teddy Bear Rex” (332), tells of Oedipus, the Teddy-Bear most beloved of Hope’s childhood in her Kingdom of Dolls.  All of the subjects had been turned to face the wall, so they could not see a “very bad thing” (333) when she was a very young child.  Then, as a grown-up with knowledge, Hope “came upon Oedipus . . . eyes leaking poison” (333).  “ ‘You shouldn’t have peeked,’ she sobbed, ‘Your eyes are too clever’.  She took the king of dolls off his throne and ripped out those beautiful brass button eyes. . . . [he] was exiled . . . banished to the dark closet. Blackness and silence and memories of what was lost—they were so good, his button eyes.  Perhaps it was all for the best.  Blanketed in darkness, the king of dolls never saw what became of his kingdom, what befell his subjects.  Without the evidence of sight, Oedipus went on dreaming he was real, in that grey place” (333).   This tiny vignette speaks the truth so clearly, so painfully, that when Josh submitted it as a short story for publication, it was accepted, and it has already been nominated for an Il Council Award and for a Pushcart Award.

 

The blending of story with journey is a powerful conveyance to the readers’ collective understanding.  Just as Josh’s blending of poetry, drama, and fiction scaffolds powerful truths, his epic tale for a modern audience paints the Paradise Lost by Milton in modern hues of Innocence Lost.  So which force will win in the timeless chasm between good and evil, love and

 

                                                                                                                 Outstanding Thesis Doetsch 3

 

hate?  Can both be understood?  Is a victory for one force ever the final victory?    Or is it, as the street priestess says that voodoo “is not about magic, but healing—healing through relationships. 

. .  Sometimes, we can raise ourselves up, to rescue another, when we don’t have the strength to save ourselves” (359-360). 

 

Joshua Alan Doetsch’s Master’s Creative Writing Closure Project Souls Unsure is nominated by the English Program for this Award because Josh set out to write an epic for the modern world, using a cauldron of literary allusions to enlighten and to entertain, and he succeeded.

Eureka

09 Tuesday Jan 2007

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Nick and I should be in Eureka by 9 or so…

shit…the little, dark elf that writes all my titles is dead…HE’S DEAD!!!

09 Tuesday Jan 2007

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Heads up:  I THINK I’LL BE IN EUREKA TONIGHT (RIDING DOWN WITH NICK), for anyone with some free time in the evening.

 

I didn’t make it to Twilight Tales, last night, as I had hoped.  I was going to read a bunch of short-short fiction, including this new one:

 

 

FULL MOON

 

She saw the hair on my palms.

 

“I guess I get lonely a lot,” I said in a chuckle, trying to make it a joke.  “It’s not easy being a guy, you know?”

 

Her smile shifted into a scowl, sudden and unnecessarily mean.

 

“Try being a woman,” she snapped, voice full of hormones.  “Monthly cycles of pain, blood, and moodiness.  You don’t know.”

 

“But I do!” I growled and she shrank back and she knew that I knew and I felt my hair thicken and my skin crawl and the moon cycle and my monthly dose of pain, blood, and moodiness.

Kiss me, I’m a mutt

05 Friday Jan 2007

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 18 Comments

It’s a new year, and this first month is starting off at a dash.  Mark your calendars . . .

 

January 22nd (Monday) – I’ll be down in Springfield, at UIS, for the awards ceremony where Souls Unsure  will be receiving the Outstanding Graduate Thesis of the year.  Apparently I’ll have to make a few short words too.

January 29th (Monday) –
I will be a featured reader at TWILIGHT TAILS.  You can check me out on their schedule, HERE.  I’ll likely be reading from my Souls Unsure book.

 

 

 

 

 

We were fooling around with my Dad’s new digital camera the other day, and this got snapped off . . . behold!  Joshua, melting into shadows!!! 

 

 

 

 

So my family has, on both sides, has never had much of a sense of it’s ethnic identity.  We’ve assumed we’re mostly German (my Dad’s side) and English (my Mom’s side) mixed in with a whole bunch of other genes (maybe Native American somewhere in the brew)….but recent investigation, by one of my aunts has shown that the English side, the side we thought we were the most sure about, is false – and that side of the family does not stretch back to the Pilgrims.  Nope…we’re Irish . . . very dark haired, dark eyed, Irish (maybe our ancestors got knocked up by Gypsies…).  I like St. Patty’s day anyway…I guess not I have a more authentic reason to.

The last few nights I’ve been working out with Nick on his Bow-Flex and though I still am not able to run on my wounded knee, I did do a few, 2 mile or so power walks . . . this all isn’t exactly a New Years resolution . . . in fact, I had planned to carry out this resolution several weeks ago…just about the time said knee received a grievous injury via the noble art of sledding. 

 

Please donate generously.

 

Hopefully the physical activity will cut the worst of my insomnia.

 

I’ve almost finished writing Secret Project X (though it’s not really a secret anymore and she knows she’s getting it).  I’ve gone back to plans to put up my website.  I think I’ll also be writing up a basic treatment for a comic book in the near future.

 

I’d like to slay a dragon this year . . . or maybe just make one laugh really, really loud.  I’d like to catch a mermaid.  I’d like to put a bunch of abstracts in my pocket.  I’d like to hold public tours of the haunted house inside my head.

 

We’ll see where the year goes . . .

 

And as a final moment of Zen . . . it turns out that Van Gogh was a Batman fan afterall . . .

 

 

Holiday Cookies

02 Tuesday Jan 2007

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 10 Comments

Holiday updates . . . and with that, the final thrilling installment of the epic trilogy, STRANGE HOLIDAY CONVERSATIONS WITH MY MOM.  In fact, I’ll repost the first two, followed by the new installment, so we can see the set of three together for the first time:

 

PART ONE: the frosting

Mom:  [on the phone with my Dad]   . . . yeah?  You’re son is here, helping me frost Christmas cookies . . .  [back to me now]  He says that’s adorable.

Me:  [I stop my frosting]  Well tell him not to tell anyone.  I have this creepy reputation to protect.

 

PART TWO: the birds and the bees

Me:  What do you get a baby for Christmas?

Mom:  What?

Me:  A baby.  For Christmas?

Mom:  What kind?

Me:  . . . . . human.

Mom:  What?

Me:  My Goddaughter.

Mom:  Oh . . . OH . . . that baby.  [laughing]  I thought you were saying that you wanted a baby for Christmas and were asking about that.

Me:  No.  I dozed off in Health Class but I have a pretty good idea how to make one of those.  I mean, we do have Animal Planet.

 

PART THREE: that ain’t no candlestick, Jack

Me: [rummaging through a large bowl of holiday cookies made by my mother . . . finally selecting one and pulling it out]  Ah, the quintessential holiday symbol . . the Christmas Penis.

Mom: That cookie does not look like a penis!  It’s a candlestick.

 Me: I’m sure that’s what the cookie cutter looks like . . . but the final product is, well . . .

Mom: It looks like a candlestick.

Me: I don’t want to get graphic . . . but there’s a stick . . . and the flame at the tip looks like . . . well, something else . . . and the candle holder, forming two circles at the base, looks like . . . well, something else . . .

Mom: [looking to Genenda in the desperate hope that this is just a guy thing]  Genenda, this doesn’t look like a penis to you, does it?

Genenda: Actually . . . that’s what I thought when I first saw them, I just didn’t want to be the one to say it . . .

Me: Ah-ha!!!

Mom:  I’m never making these cookies ever again!

 

 

 

Incidentally, if you’ve seen the movie Death to Smoochie, the cookies that Smoochie tries to pass off as rocket ships . . . yeah, they pretty much looked like those.

 

Christmas was fun.  I won’t give a full list of my loot . . . but I have music again, in the form of an iPod and I finally made the switch to iTunes and discovered the free (that’s FREE) joy of the podcasts.  I also got a few bits of Spiderman paraphernalia, a Marvel board game, and Nightmare Before Christmas mints.

 

Speaking of gifts . . . I’m in the middle of writing one . . . and it’s a bit late for Christmas, so I better go and finish it so I can send it off.

Through the Dark Woods . . .

29 Friday Dec 2006

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≈ 4 Comments

The myth is the public dream and the dream is the private myth.  If your private myth, your dream, happens to coincide with that of the society, you are in good accord with your group.  If it isn’t, you’ve got a long adventure in the dark forest ahead of you.

            –Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

 

Well . . . that explains it.  And I’m walking.  And I’m drinking plenty of grape juice to keep my night vision strong.

NyQuill Voodoo

20 Wednesday Dec 2006

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≈ 6 Comments

You gotta love VOODOO HOODIES.  And you have to love voodoo hoodies that help the New Orleans relief effort.

I had more to write.  I wanted to talk about trickster deities saving the current culture and why writing is a form of magic . . . but the NyQuill (that big fuckin’ Q) calls and everything’s going to a cherry flavored haze.  Another time then.

 

Pleasant hallucinations and may your eye movements be rapid.

 

Medieval Chants and Secret Burrito Rituals Calm the Ghosts in My Head

16 Saturday Dec 2006

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

babies, burritos, mom, vampires

Something about this holiday season and conversations with my Mom . . .

 

Conversation With My Mom (Part II):

 

Me:  What do you get a baby for Christmas?

Mom:  What?

Me:  A baby.  For Christmas?

Mom:  What kind?

Me:  . . . . . human.

Mom:  What?

Me:  My Goddaughter.

Mom:  Oh . . . OH . . . that baby.  [laughing] I thought you were saying that you wanted a baby for Christmas and were asking about that.

Me:  No.  I dozed off in Health Class but I have a pretty good idea how to make one of those.  I mean, we do have Animal Planet.

 

The novel contest is starting to drive me nuts.  Waking up, every day, for several months thinking THIS COULD BE THE DAY! and rushing to the computer can do bad things to your brain.

 

Mysterious, unaccounted for, and unexplained bags of coffee managed to get into my room, all the way from Georgia, today.  I’d explain that statement, but it sounds better cryptic.

 

My parents home has a very SLOTH effect on me and I got to figure out a way to counteract it.  Lazy is good . . . but this gets ridiculous.  There’s more to do.  Every day I should be asking myself how to sharpen my quills.

 

I often need to meditate to sort out the various cherubs and goblins in my head, but, I’m not much for routine, so there never is a set way, I always find a different ritual.  Last night’s ritual involved driving about in the AM hours, past skeleton trees with the window open, listening to medieval winter music, and eating Taco Bell.

 

I’m uploading some Rasputina music.  I can’t say all of it was acquired legally (and have you noticed that all of those “pirating music/movies is bad, don’t be a pirate” commercials have stopped?  I think it’s because a certain set of Johnny Depp movies has the high entertainment execs worried that if they liken downloading to piracy, the kids will do it all the more.  I mean, what little lad or lass with a decent bandwith doesn’t want to be a pirate?), but if I see them in person, I plan on slipping them a twenty spot.  Fuck the middle man.

I suppose if I were to do this properly . . . I ought to spike up my coke with some rum . . .

. . . that’s better.

Yo-ho-ho.

Merry Christmas.

 

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