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Joshua Alan Doetsch

~ Author & Scrivnomancer

Joshua Alan Doetsch

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Halloweeners

29 Friday Oct 2004

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

OK…nearly ready for a fun, frightening weekend in Eureka. Just turned in a new story “For Poor Lucy” to BLOODLUST UK and am packing up so I can leave after work tomorrow.

So here we go…going to see Nick (and everyone else) in Jordan’s play tomorrow. After that it’s haunted houses and perhaps a meeting in the place with the thing (and rum).

Saturday night is Jeramie and Amy’s party. Be there! I’m told all are invited…do NOT assume that you are not. If you need directions, call Amy/Jeramie (or me at 224-627-6836). If you need a ride from Eureka, give me a call.

Then Sunday (Halloween!) is a bit open. If Jeramie and Amy don’t mind some company and help with trick or treaters…maybe a lazy evening of ghost stories and scary movies would be good. Maybe another haunted house later.

OK…everyone hop aboard the Halloween Weekend Express!!!

Ok….that last part sounded lame….just have an awesome Halloween (despite what misguided religious comics might say on the subject.

The Vampires in My Head Go to Ground When the Birds Doth Sing

28 Thursday Oct 2004

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 9 Comments

It’s late. I’ve been researching and writing about things that go bump in the late night. I’ve been working on a story composed of smaller stories. I wanted to finish it for tomorrow night’s (that is to say, tonight’s) reading in class. But I only finished outlining the story and fleshing out the characters and completing one of the mini stories. So I guess I’ll turn in the mini story. I’ll get back to the whole later.

“Work is its own cure,” says a line in a poem about writing…and it’s right. I felt anxious and talent less earlier…but now I feel better. “You have to like it better than being loved.” Maybe that’s correct too…in its own way.

Remember that freaky comic strip I ranted about, the one that says trick or treating is against Jesus? (if not scroll down a bit) Well, Halloween has enemies from the opposite end. READ THIS to find out about a school district in Washington that banned their Halloween parties because depictions of witches is not politely correct towards people who practice Wicca. So Christians and Wicca agree on one thing…and it just happens to be the bane of my beloved Holiday. BAH! (I don’t have the energy for another rant on this…so just pretend I did)

Speaking of Halloween. It’s upon us friends. What are everybody’s plans? For me, the center of events happens on Saturday, with the party at Jeramie and Amy’s place. I believe their invite email instructed us to spread the word…so this is me spreading the word (whether you got that email or not…come on!).

This weekend is Jordan’s play. Nick wants me to spread that word. And here I am, again spreading words. Actually this is me spreading W O R D S. Get it? I’ll be seeing that Friday.

But what of the rest of Friday night and Sunday? I have not yet had either a horror movie night nor a sit down with some friends (some booze) and some ghost stories. Perhaps either Friday or Sunday a group may get together to do movies/stories and then, on the left over night, hit a local haunted house or something. What say everyone? Let us not forget vampire tag (see earlier post).

OK…birds are singing. That means time for bed.

And Tokyo Was Saved…but for how long?

27 Wednesday Oct 2004

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Well…I haven’t gotten it on with mistress livejournal in a while…so it’s time to give some good journal.

I had my reading on Sunday, at the Schizoclub in Chicago (I’ve posted the website enough…just scroll down). Not a lot of people but it was fun. My parents came out. Dave and Adrian came out (thanks guys!). Genenda came up with me to, which was nice of her given the ambiguous nature of things.

Adrian said I had a good reading voice and would, in fact, hire me to read stories to her (THAT will be my hired position if you guys ever get that mansion up and running…court storyteller). Well, my ego was certainly tickled…

Recently, I used a computer program to measure Lenore (snakes are difficult creatures to measure otherwise). Accordingly, she is 22.5 inches, 3 months, 13 days, 4 sheds, and 34 mice long…

Also, being that she is an endangered species and that this particular species (the Eastern Indigo – Drymarchon Couperi) lacks enough hard data, I did do some scientific recording and one experiment.

Now, on the snake forums, there are silly disputes on what would happen if an Indigo met a Kingsnake (both snakes eat other snakes). This is a macho waste of time. It is pretty evident what happens when a king confronts the indigo…as shown below:

No…I put my scientific mind to a much more serious task. We know what happens in the king/indigo scenario…but…

Can an indigo, in fact, defeat……..

………..GODZILLA???

While I am biased, I have to grudgingly admit that the outcome is not as clear or definite as the indigo/king scenario.

Skeleton Musicians Point You Out to My Bio

23 Saturday Oct 2004

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Alright…my bio is up on the Schizoclub website. Just click HERE FOR BIO and then click on their scheduel. Scroll down to Oct 24 and click my name.

I AM A MEDIA WHORE!!!
*Joshua’s whorish side, brought to you by the Schizoclub.

I woke up and music was playing and I knew a secret but lost it in the second verse…

23 Saturday Oct 2004

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

I woke up in a strange place, east of the looking glass…

I’m in that weird dimension you go when you mess with time and wake up in a strange time – somewhere between jet lag and a really good nap on a summer afternoon when you awake to a darkening sky.

Surreal…when you don’t let go of dreaming and drag it with you into the waking world.

I recall a whole lot of writing and entirely too much caffeine than any stomach lining should have to embrace.

Wed night/Thurs morning, I started researching for a paper due Friday for Shakespeare class (should have started long before…I know). Some amount of panic. Kris appeared out of nowhere, an electronic muse from the pantheon of instant message bliss and alighted the darkening dread that comes with having to re-teach oneself how to write a formal, scholarly paper…and it’s far, far too late. Thank you, oh merciful muse…

There was some discussion of metaphysical clothes and shedding earthly garbs…

Thursday was work then night class, leaving me to write the paper at about 10pm…I started at midnight. I finished researching and outlining at about 8am and started writing. I changed the paper and shortened it so I could finish by 1pm (when it was due in the teacher’s office). I then walked to work, sleep deprived, and maybe a little mad.

Work concluded (selling tickets for the show Bunicula…story of a vampire bunny…children’s costume party…lots of little dinosaurs and gushing parents) at about 8. I got back here. I sat down…just for a second…on my bed. And seconds, in the proper context, can last quite a while…cause suddenly it was nearly 3 am and here I am, between waking and not…

It’s not an entirely bad sensation.

I think I will go back to bed, but I thought I’d write. Maybe just babble. I don’t know if it makes any sense, I’ll check back tomorrow to see if it does. Right now, I’m going to shed my earthly garb, put on something comfortable, and metaphysical, and go back to dreams.

I have unfinished businesses there.

Magic in Words Out of Context…

22 Friday Oct 2004

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 5 Comments

I like out of context quotes…they are like blank checks for the imagination…

I think I’m better at cuddling than that…but I like the sex score…

21 Thursday Oct 2004

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

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A wig, a cap, and a “snooch!”

20 Wednesday Oct 2004

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 5 Comments

Ok, so according to the scheduel on the Schizoclub’s website (http://www.schizoclub.com/) Daina’s art exhibit runs from 4pm to midnight, this Sunday (the 24th) my readings will likely start around 7:30pm. So I’m starting to gather would-be audience members (I’ll have to swing by Eureka on Saturday night so I can drive Nick – and anyone else who wants to go – up with me on Sunday). The thought of entering a little corner of the starving artists of Chicago is exciting…but what do I read? Well, they want stuff to fit October…fit Halloween (and she asked ME if that would be a problem…). So here is a tentative list of what I’ll bring:

“The Halloween Tree”
“The Book of Life 2.0”
“For Poor Lucy”
“In Embryo”
“Spam, Death, and Milky Way Bars”
“Strumin’ Dis’ Chord”
“Thorns”
“Teddy Bear Rex”
“Varmints”
“Why the Crow Cries”
“Grandpa’s Key”
“Harbinger”
“Duck Tape Webs”
And maybe one or more of the monologues I wrote for Dee last year (“Requiem for the Taste Buds,” “Squeeze,” and “Like Chocolate – Like Candy”).

I’ll likely pick from this list…or who knows, some of them are pretty short (“Duck Tape Webs” is a story in 55 words) so maybe I’ll get to most of them. I might read a poem or two. Maybe “Poe Goes to the Singles Bar” and “Under the Bed.”

In other news…my awesome cousin Steve (one of the large League of Extraordinary Doetsch Men), I now can post pictures (my pictures) on the web. So I will give it a whirl. Halloween approaches which (among other scuttling things) makes me think of costumes and past costumes. Here are a few shots of Nick and I in our Jay and Silent Bob guises. These pictures are from we dressed up as them for the Fine Arts Dinner my senior year (and Dee was Mrs. Robinson….rowwww!). Of course…we dressed up as them the following Halloween (with a better wig and better costume) and won $300 at a club in Chicago.

And with that…I have to get to work on an essay so I can afford the time to go improv in Eureka tonight. Yay!

The Not-Quite-Ballad of a Lonely Leaf

19 Tuesday Oct 2004

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 5 Comments

There once was a Leaf – all withered and sere.
All withered and sere?
Prophetic and seer.

And the Leaf – all confused and sere.
Spoke to the Pumpkin that could hear with no ear.
Hear with no ear?
Vega-telepathy my dear.

“Where did Josh go?”
Asked the leaf to the Jack O’Lantern squash.
“He sped out of Springfield post haste.”
Sped with all haste?
October leaves few cinnamon-scented seconds to waste.

“Of Josh I do know, that he flew to the north.”
Said the Pumpkin, grin all aglow.
Grin all aglow?
Candles tend to glow.
“To find him, catch a wind, catch a chill.”
A wind and a chill?
So leafy sails do fill.

And the Leaf – all gray-garbed and sere.
Gray-garbed and sere?
The clouded horizon was not clear.
And the Leaf caught a wind in the ashen sky.
Cold and strong like an ice demon’s sigh.

And the Leaf flew to Eureka – all maroon and gold.
Maroon and gold?
One-hundred and fifty years old.
And the Leaf fell and the Leaf did fall,
And watched me watching a play on Friday.
You don’t say?
I do say. They performed Our Town,
And they did it fantastically great, from beginning to final call.
To final call?
I’m very proud of them all.

And then Torrie and Kris and Wil and I went to the dark labyrinth with a bottle of rum.
And there we laughed and drank a large sum.
A large sum of rum?
Gotta love the rum.
And three more men of Doetsch did join us – drinking the Pepsi-rum swill.
And Wil spied some people foolin’ around just past their window’s sill.

Saturday found me driving north, me and Wil.
You and Wil?
Only one “L” and he’s filled.
And the Leaf – all hurried and sere.
Hurried and sere?
Followed and entered, again, into the whippoorwill chill.

And the Leaf flew and followed, fell and followed, fell and did fall through Fall’s ashen skies.
And the Leaf spied on Will and I at Volo Bog, full of phantasmagoric fog.
And we listened to a storyteller tell ghost tales, he was gray-bearded and sere.
And the kiddies giggled and feared, but I fear, it grew cold and frigid winds did sear.
The winds did sear?
Stabbed needle into my ears – colder, I say, than the frozen lake where the Devil doth sit.
Beneath the circle of fire and the circle of shit – his faces chewing with no elation
Brutus and Cassius and Judas – unholy mastication.
But I digress…It was all worth it, the ghost stories were good I suppose.
But we froze and froze and froze.
You froze?
I think Wil lost his nose.
Oh bloody Hell!
I think he might find it, in the place where he stowed that spare “L”.

And then, Sunday, we drove south, the Leaf followed in the ashen sky’s mouth.
In Alton, a tour of ghosts we walked, Wil and I and Torrie and Amy and Jeramie and others still.
Others still?
There are many who will, though we only had one, one “L’ed” Wil.
And in a dank cellar, where shady wraiths play and haunt and sing.
I spooked Jerm and Amy, with my phone’s Halloween-themed ring.
Electronic music echoes through their dusky dark dreams.

And we bolted back North and the Leaf – all confused and sere.
Confused and sere?
Crackly and sere – found me, Monday, back at Eureka.
There I walked, I was Cerf Center bound.
To research, for a story, and ponder curious volumes of forgotten folklore,
About wicked pumpkins and things that move in the night without a sound.
But before I got in, I was spied by Karisa, from just past her window’s sill.
Spotted and recognized at that.
Recognized at that?
She saw my black hat.

And, inside, Tara did pass.
Tara did pass?
And I spoke to the lass, but merely a moment alas.
And the Leaf watched from a window and noted my notes,
On my not-finished story, “Vampire Jack.”

Morbid homework concluded, I watched the double feature in Becker.
Nosferatu and Shadow of the Vampire – what a scream.
Eighty year old flicker-flash phantoms of the dead on the screen.
The dead on the screen?
A silent form of immortality it would seem.

And then with a rush and a peddle push and some gas,
I drove home and the Leaf flew home.

And the Leaf – all withered and sere.
Withered and sere?
Just the refrain my dear.
The Leaf – withered and sere, found the Pumpkin that could hear with no ear.
“Pumpkin, I followed Josh and he drove this way and that.”
And Leaf told the tale as the two vegi-matter bits sat.
“And Pumpkin, you’ll appear in his unfinished story, ‘Vampire Jack.’”

“I appear in his story?” asked the Pumpkin straight back.
“Where? Oh where do I appear?”

“It’s hard to say without giving it away, I fear,” said the Leaf with a squeal.
“It’s one of those super surprise ending sort of deals.”

And the Leaf flew away.

And the Pumpkin glowed.

And the Leaf still blows.

And the pumpkin still glows.

Fuck Math – Fairy Tales Are the Key to the Universe

15 Friday Oct 2004

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

“When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for abstract, positive thinking.”
– Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

When Albert Einstein was asked how to develop intelligence in young people, he answered: “Read fairy tales. Then read more fairy tales.”

Sometimes Fiction writing gets looked down on by other more “relevant” vocations and modes of thought. Even within fiction, fairy tales and fantasy and similar styles of writing are looked down upon by other, more “relevant” forms of fiction. Fiction about characters and situations that are “realistic” and “relevant” and “deep.”

But when these folk say “relevant” what they really mean is “timely” and that can turn into an ugly sort of bug…the flippant and currant disease that’s infected literary thought for the current week.

But fantasy, good fantasy (folklore, mythology, fairy tales, etc.) has a way of being relevant forever. Sometimes, a thing need not be factual to be true – sometimes, a thing can hold facts and still be false.

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because
they tell us that dragons exist, but because
they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
-G.K. Chesterton

And as a final note…Wil is promoting the possible start of a writer’s forum, at Eureka, on his blog. So I thought I’d sound out the call too. Interested?

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