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Joshua Alan Doetsch

~ Author & Scrivnomancer

Joshua Alan Doetsch

Tag Archives: dr. sbaitso

To the right of the flack jacket, just past the roman helms, and next to the live tarantula…

24 Monday May 2010

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

a space odyssey, age of conan, chinatown, dr. sbaitso, fossils, fraggle rocks, funcom, gamle aker kirke, golden age of video, hit girl, international jewel thief, lawrence of arabia, norway, norwegian constitution day, oliver, oslo, the pentagon, trilobites

The adventure in Norway continues.

I played video games in a graveyard, had a near hallucinatory experience with the Fraggle Rocks, saw the monolith on the big screen, and found fossils in the woods.

But enough cryptic foreplay…let’s get to it!

Goblin Markets, Fraggle Rocks, Strange Days
Several Saturdays ago, I rolled out of bed, at noon, stumbled into some clothes, and made the walk to grab a coffee at the corner shop. I found the main road closed and full of people in a sort of Norwegian sidewalk market fest. I decided to explore it for a few hours.

Sometimes getting a coffee can be an adventure.

Lots of little shops. Some cool paintings sold on the sidewalk. Various yummy smells. Various fishy smells. A large area of sidewalk was taken over by a radio station doing a promotion. They had this big ramp, covered in snow, with various kids doing ski and snowboard tricks, on the warm, sunny day. I didn’t understand what was said, but it looked fun. The boarders/skiers ranged in age, up to late teens, but the one who rocked the best tricks, and with the most confidence, was the youngest looking, a little girl. She was like the snowboarding version of Hit Girl.

That night, I went into the Funcom office (I go to work to play my video games) to play Conan with some folks from the US. With the time difference, I didn’t get out of there until 3 a.m. And what do my bleary peepers spy when I get to the street?

A bus. Not a normal bus. This bus is rocking. And there are weird lights and mist coming out of it. And loud, ribcage-rattling dance music is pulsing forth from it. In fact, it looks like there is a night club in a pocket dimension, within the bus, full of people dancing. And, as my eyes adjust, I see what it is painted along the whole outer body…scenes depicting the Fraggle Rocks.

Before I could pinch myself, the bus drove off into the Norwegian night.

And where is the magical Fraggle bus now? ‘tis a mystery…***

Womb Breach Day
The end of April saw me turn 31. This means I am just old enough to play a high school kid in Hollywood.

To celebrate, I took my new PSP and went and did what I could never do with past game systems—I played Castlevania, at night, in cemetery by a medieval church built by a viking king. It’s the little things.

The Monolith and the Trilobites
So this one time, a great-uncle of mine found this bone, and smashed this other dude in the head for messing around at his waterhole…and the rest is prehistory…

Through some cats at work, I found the movie theatre that film geeks go to here in Oslo. I have since watched 2001: A Space Odyssey and Lawrence of Arabia, and Chinatown, on the big screen, in 70mm. Loud sound too. I could feel my hair flying back at the height of the 2001 theme.

All in all, I think I could have beaten HAL. Back in the early-mid 90s, I had a face-off with an artificial intelligence by the name of Dr. Sbaitso. Let’s just say…I’m the one still standing.

A few Sundays ago, I went with Oliver, another workmate from Funcom, out fossil hunting. Based on the memory of a hand drawn map that he saw on a WEBSITE, we took a train and hour+ out of the city, then walked for about four miles, looking for some rocks that didn’t look much different than the surrounding miles of rocks, but contained fossils. My hopes weren’t too high, but it was nice scenery. And yet…WE FOUND ‘EM!

We didn’t just find a fossil, but lots and lots of fossils, mostly trilobites (which are arthropods, not a rejected Clive Barker movie monster). One of the fossils now sits on my desk.

Also, a raven (not a city crow…but a real raven) circled above us and croaked a few times.

I am all that is paleontologist!!!

We also saw this:

That’s right! It’s the Aass Brewery. When you taste that distinct, robust, full-bodied flavor…you know you’re in Aass country.

It’s All About Getting the ExP
Do you think anyone will notice that, on my LinkedIn resume, I list one of my past jobs as Infamous International Jewel Thief?

Age of Conan: Rise of the Godslayer

The MMO computer game expansion I’ve been writing on for the last 10 months came out about two weeks ago.

There was a party–my first game launch party. There was much libation. I ended up at various places, and then a long walk home in the early AM (with detailed instructions on where not to walk).

Oslo, May 17th
May 17th is the big national holiday here in Oslo, and I went out and experienced just how many people can fill these city streets. Yikes. Many people were in traditional garb and it was rather interesting. I would have preferred viking helmets and mead-filled skulls, but then, who wouldn’t?

The Pentagon
Saturday I tried to make a trip out to the Comic Book Library here in Oslo…but it was closed for the holiday weekend. Looking about and finding myself in a foreign city (this happens every few hours, think Momento, only I don’t have any nifty tattoos for help) I decided to explore. I eventually stepped into a shop with army surplus, roman helms, tommy gun air rifles, a rubber alien set up in an alien autopsy scene, swords n’ knives, and yes, a live tarantula.

This was convenient as it was exactly the store I was looking for.


Some Tweeted Thoughts and Meditations Over the Last Few Weeks

*No, that is not a tear in my wrinkled shirt; it’s my ragged scarecrow chic.

*When life hands me lemons, I make poorly executed metaphors.

*Hate ironing. If you don’t have any wrinkles, rumples, or patches, how do you even know you’ve lived?

*Found out I’ll be a bridesmaid. Strange days. Never know what I’ll be doing or on what continent anymore. Does this make me a bridesman?

*I’m sometimes tempted to write under the name Jack Fatuus…or Haph Hazard…or Penethorne Scrivensworth…or Icky Knock (short for Ichabod).

Howzabout a Moment of Zen?
Watch this. You really should. I wouldn’t lie. Not to you.

 

[***Note: I have since learned the reason for the Fraggle bus, but don’t want to spoil the mystery for you, just yet.]

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