• Blog
  • About Joshua
  • Written Works
  • Reviews

Joshua Alan Doetsch

~ Author & Scrivnomancer

Joshua Alan Doetsch

Tag Archives: tom cruise

Hair today, gone to…man…bad pun…

22 Friday Feb 2008

Posted by scrivnomancer in Uncategorized

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

cute robots, egomania, nick, no shave february, tom cruise, working out

Dialogue With the Brothers Doetsch
We’re working out and it’s my turn, but I’m daydreaming (I do that allot) and my brother, Nick, gets impatient.

Nick: Y’re up!!!

Joshua: Asia!

Nick: What?

Joshua: Hmm?

Nick: Asia…what?

Joshua: Oh…I thought we were yelling out random continents.

Nick: What the hell are you talking about? I just said “go ahead” and…uh…oh…Europe….

No Shave February (the revolution will not be televised…just chronicled on social websites)
In an act of rebellion against the paradigms of our modern world—against FATE itself and the tyrannous stars, my friend, Brayton, hosted a Facebook event called NO SHAVE FEBRUARY, and cast the hairy gauntlet of audacity into the abyssal face of oppression itself! The manifesto was simple, join up and do not shave, under any circumstances, for the entirety of February. I agreed, mostly because I think it’s important to occasionally make strange promises to friends (and even better to keep them). We had to shave at the beginning of the month, so we could take a “Before” photo. I had not seen my bare face in a long time…in fact, there seemed to be a stranger in the mirror. So I did the most adult thing I could think of, when faced with an existential identity crisis, and made faces at my webcam for about forty-five minutes.




The Plot Thickens (the hair thins)
To add further identity confusion, a botched hair cut led to getting even more hair cut in order to fix it…which led me to having the shortest hair I’d had in some time. Bare face…shorter hair…oh my. I made more faces…






Wii Would Like to Play

Man…all those photos of me in one post. Pretty egomaniacal, huh? Speaking of egomaniacal, I recently saw Tom Cruise in his acceptance video for that Scientology award. Yikes!

I suppose a lot could be written about one’s reactions to this. For me though…it boils down to one revelation. I realized, after seeing this video, that all those rumors that Tom Cruise is gay…are totally false. Tom Cruise isn’t gay…he just fantasizes about #@!%ing himself (and I don’t mean just a little…just getting his clone, dressing up like lumberjacks and making out…I mean he really wants to @#$% the $%!# out of himself and @#$%!%$ and $@%$$%# and @$@#! breaking all the furniture in the bedroom while @%$!@$ing the !##$@#! and the dead raccoon and @#$%ing @%$# with the Wii controlling shoved up the @$#!, and @#$@% through the @%#$ing #%#$ #%$, shattering all glass for a mile radius…I’m serious…every mirror in the man’s house has got to be smudged).

I do like Jerry OConnell’s parody. I didn’t realize he was that funny.

Zen?
Anyone up for a moment of zen?  Okay.  Here ya go…

Become a Patron

A weird story every month and a backstage look at my writing.

Recent Posts

  • Madness, Tentacles, & Vampire Dating Apps
  • Tabletop Tuesday: The Power of Trinkets –or– Dude, that’s your Dobby sock!
  • Table Top Tuesday: Party Assembled!
  • Bugs n’ Stuff
  • A Storyteller in Your Court

Archives

Quoth the Joshua, “Tweet!”

Tweets by JoshuaDoetsch

Magic Word Cloud

absinthe age of conan anthology autumn birthday blood snow and sparrows book of dead things cafe aeon cats christmas college cosmic horror Cthulhu dad dreams facebook flash fiction funcom game writing gaming GenCon H.P. Lovecraft halloween horradorable James Lowder Joshua Alan Doetsch lenore lovecraft magic Mark Doetsch medieval times memories micro-fiction misfits montreal music musings neil gaiman nick nostalgia novel Onyx Path Poe pseudopod Raven ray bradbury readings red lion pub reese scrivnomancer signings simon meeks slip n' slide Sparrow & Crowe strangeness in the proportion the secret world toe tags twilight tales twitter Vampire Vampire: the Masquerade Vampire: the Requiem vampires video video game writing voice acting volo bog weird fiction weird romance white hen white wolf white wolf novel World of Darkness writing writing lessons

RSS Links

RSS Feed RSS - Posts

RSS Feed RSS - Comments

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

  • Follow Following
    • Joshua Alan Doetsch
    • Join 521 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Joshua Alan Doetsch
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar